BROTHERS
BY
JO SEAVER
(GLORIETA, JULY 1995)

Buddy tried desperately to think of a way to connect with his new brother. Though the visit had gone well, he and Nick didn't have the same bond Buddy shared with his adopted brothers. It wasn't Nick's fault, but for Buddy, it was like trying to touch base with a stranger. He'd thought about just saying goodbye at the terminal door, but didn't think that would go over real well. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt Nick's feelings.

What I really need, he thought to himself, is someone to talk to -- someone who knows me -- someone I don't have to explain everything to.

* * *

Nick Michaels watched his brother -- a stranger with a familiar face -- a cop face. Always watching... always assessing... hard to get close to, never letting anyone in. He wondered what it would take to get to know his brother. He hugged Yvette closer, pleased she'd decided to accompany them to the airport.

Yvette returned the hug, glad she'd changed her mind about coming. Nicky'd had so many hopes -- they all had. The problem came down to a two day visit couldn't make up for a lifetime apart. Oh, Buddy'd been polite and talked with all of them, but he'd held back. She couldn't help but wonder what he was like with his other brothers. She thought again about Dinh's suggestion just as they left. Not a bad idea at all, but she hadn't mentioned it to either man because there simply hadn't been time. Now, she wished she had.

* * *

Once Buddy checked in, he discovered his flight had been delayed. According to the clerk, it was still on the ground in San Francisco. Passengers would be notified of its new arrival and departure times as soon as possible. Shrugging his shoulders, he shifted his carry-on to a more comfortable position and walked back toward Nick and Yvette.

"All set?" Yvette asked.

"Not really." Buddy drew in an impatient breath and hesitated. What was that faint fragrance he'd caught? After a moment, he dismissed it and continued. "My luggage is checked in, but it seems my flight has an unspecified departure time."

He stopped again and breathed in -- deeper this time. There it was again -- that scent. He struggled to place it and suddenly he remembered. Rivvi! He spun around and saw Rivka Dietrich coming toward him.

He could hardly believe his own eyes and he stood unmoving until she was right in front of him. The sight of her so close broke the spell. He picked her up, hugging her close, burying his face in her neck and hair. He breathed in her scent, and suddenly, for the first time that weekend, felt completely relaxed. "What are you doing here?" he asked in amazement.

Laughing, Rivvi smiled up into Buddy's face, glad she'd spotted the tall blond wearing the unmistakable signature fedora and overcoat. Of course being picked up in an airport and bear hugged was not exactly conducive to dignity, but she could and always did, forgive Buddy many things.

As he placed her back on the floor, Rivvi stroked his cheek. "Should I ask what you are doing in such an out-of-the-way airport?"

"You could." Buddy paused, trying to find the best way to introduce his newfound family. Shifting to the right, he brought her around to Nick. "Rivka Dietrich, this is my brother, Nicholas Michaels, and his fiancé, Yvette Marcel."

Rivvi removed her arm from around Buddy and reached out for the hand that was extended to her. "I am very pleased to make your acquaintance." Inclining her head, she shook hands with the woman as well. Her family would have been proud of her composure.

Yvette grinned to herself. Here, she thought, is the way through Buddy's armor. "It's nice to meet you, Rivka."

"Please, call me Rivvi."

The young man with Yvette hadn't said anything, his expression still showing his obvious surprise at Buddy running into someone he knew. She ignored him for the moment and turned back to her conversation with Buddy.

"You will tell me why you are here, bitte." She gazed into his blue eyes with a questioning gleam.

"I, uh, came to meet family." Buddy pondered what else to say, then he made a fast decision. "Look, my flight to Boston's been delayed. You doing anything for the next six or so hours?" Buddy grinned at her, hoping charm would win out.

Nicky watched the auburn-haired woman with the German accent talking to his brother, jealous of their easy exchange -- afraid she would say yes and steal away any chance he had of getting closer to Buddy. Then he thought about kicking himself. How could he be so little and mean-spirited? But how couldn't he be?

Sensing Nicky's insecurity, Yvette leaned over and whispered in his ear, "Trust me. It'll be all right."

Startled, Nicky glanced at his fiancé, then down at the ground. Expelling a sigh, he let the tension flow from his body. He trusted Yvette. He would follow her lead. With that thought came an ease he hadn't felt all weekend, and he added his voice to Buddy's.

"Please, we'd love you to join us if it won't delay your flight."

Laughing, Rivvi's eyes moved from Buddy to Nick. "How could I possibly say no to two such charming gentlemen. I do have to make a phone call first to delay my plane."

"Your plane?" Yvette asked surprised. She began to wonder where a cop from Boston had met this European woman -- German born, if her ear for accents was on target.

"It is my Grandfather's. He insists that I use it when I travel. He does not trust airlines. Please, excuse me while I go notify the flight crew."

She slipped out from under Buddy's arm to walk over to the nearest courtesy phone. She felt rather than saw him walking along behind her. Her oma (Grandmother) likened it to radar, and claimed it was especially intense for her when opa (Grandfather) was around. Once Rivvi's phone call was made, she turned and waited for what would happen next. Curiosity about Buddy's new found family clearly written on her face.

Nicky and Yvette had moved to join them and Yvette decided to continue with her questions. If she couldn't get Buddy to open up about himself, then maybe she could get his friend to enlighten them. "How 'bout lunch? Anybody else starved?" She glanced expectantly from Nick to Buddy.

"Well," Nicky began. "We passed a place on the way in. Andy says it's pretty posh, but we could give it a go."

"Andy thinks Jack-in-the-Box is posh," Yvette grumbled just loudly enough so her fiancé could hear her, and laughed when he put his arm around her and hugged her close.

Buddy checked his carry-on in a locker then joined his companion's for the trek to the restaurant. Concern about getting home to Boston and work flitted through his mind, but was quickly dispelled as Rivvi took his hand. Slightly behind Nick and Yvette, they walked along in silence until they'd gotten outside. While waiting to cross the street, she finally spoke up to answer his earlier question. "You still want to know why I'm in Albuquerque?"

"Yeah." He paused then continued, "I really do."

"I called to say hi to your mother and she told me where you were."

He stopped and stared. Of all the things she could have said, this was the most unexpected. "I don't understand."

"Don't you? Your mother had to practically throw you onto the plane. You were all set to not go. Oh, Buddy..." Rivvi paused. She closed her eyes for a moment, then opened them and gazed into his face. She placed her hand on his heart. "Kitty loves you, but she knows you too well. You will not give this new brother a chance, because you will believe that if you do... it would be disloyal to your other family... your other brothers..." Rivvi waited a moment. "Did you ask him to take you to your father's grave?"

Buddy ducked his head. She'd always been able to see through him. "No," he mumbled. "I... uh... I didn't think there would be time. And... well, I didn't know him."

"Did you know Vincent Capatosa?" she pressed.

* * *

Nicky had started to cross the street when he realized Buddy and his friend weren't with them. He glanced back to see them in an intense conversation. He was afraid to ask what they were talking about, but he had to hear for himself. Bringing Yvette along in his wake, he got to the couple just in time to hear Rivvi ask Buddy if he knew Vincent Capatosa.

"Uh... guys." He was going to say more when she regarded him with intense brown eyes.

"Nicholas, would you tell me where your father is buried?"

"Excuse me," he began.

"Where is your father buried?"

Nicky swallowed. "He's... he's buried in Glorieta."

"And how far is this Glorieta from here, bitte?"

"Two hours, give or take." Nicky paused then continued, "Why?"

"In my country, a family is bound together by the past. We share in the knowledge and kinship of those who were a part of us. Did the two of you not mourn your father together?"

Reaching out, Rivvi took Nicky's hand. "Nicholas..."

"Nicky, please."

"Nicky." She smiled at him. "Why did you not visit your father's grave?"

"There wasn't time and Buddy never said he wanted to. He seemed uncomfortable when mom showed him some old photos." He stopped. Now that he thought about it, he really didn't know why they hadn't visited Dad's gravesite. "I didn't want to push."

"Before we go to this restaurant for lunch, might I suggest a small detour."

Yvette couldn't repress a small sigh of gratitude as she realized what Rivvi was planning. Before Nicky could demand more explanation, she stepped in to back Rivvi up. "Definitely, I think we have more than enough time for a detour. Come on, what are we standing around here for? We've got a lot to accomplish." With that, Yvette began leading Nicky in the direction of their borrowed Blazer, leaving the others to follow in her wake.

At the Blazer, she swiped the keys from Nicky and climbed behind the wheel. Rivvi hopped in the front passenger seat, exiling Nicky and Buddy to the back. When they were all buckled in, Yvette spoke quietly.

"Now that we have them in the proverbial lock up, do you know how to get there."

Rivvi laughed. "Yes, I do actually. Get on the highway going south."

"South?" Nicky piped up from behind them. "I thought you were taking us to Glorieta."

"No questions," Rivvi instructed with a smile. She turned to Yvette. "May I ask how you knew what I was thinking about?"

Yvette peered in the rearview mirror at the slightly perturbed faces on the men. She smiled at Rivvi. "I'd been trying to figure out a way to get them there anyway. This worked out great."

"Now for my next question." Rivvi paused a moment. "Do you have a camera?"

Yvette nodded. "Nicky, could you give my purse to Rivvi, please?"

Rivvi accepted the bag and pulled a polaroid camera out of it.

"The last thing Nicky's Aunt Katie did was hand me this. She wanted to be sure they had.... a memory. Only she called it a frozen moment. We need mission-photos."

Rivvi smiled and glanced into the back seat where both men were staring out opposite windows, tension emanating thickly. Feeling the car shift, she looked up and saw they were exiting the highway, following the sign for the Veterans' Memorial Cemetery.

As they passed along the cemetery fence, Yvette began to search for parking. There was a huge crowd out today and it seemed that the closer they got, the fewer spaces there were. She finally spied a spot and pulled up outside the gates. She set the brake, grabbed her purse and got out. She saw Rivvi on the other side doing the same thing.

Nicky came up beside her, his face full of questions. She forestalled him with a kiss, and whispered for him to trust her.

Buddy had been following Rivvi and his heart constricted as he saw The Wall. He felt a pounding in his ears drowning out Rivvi's words, but at that moment, he didn't care as he stared at the memorial.

Nicky too had halted, stunned. Before him was the Vietnam Veteran's Traveling Memorial -- a replica of the one that stood in Washington, D.C. He'd always heard about The Wall, but had never visited it, not even this touring one, but he could remember his mother crying as she watched its dedication on TV. He reached a hand out for his brother's shoulder and together they walked closer, Rivvi and Yvette forgotten for the moment.

Yvette glanced at her companion. She too looked moved by the sight of the memorial.

"Yvette, would you go to the booth and ask for three sheets of memorial paper. I am going to guide Nicky and Buddy to the correct spot," Rivvi informed her.

"There are a lot of names up there," Yvette observed dubiously.

Rivvi closed her eyes for a moment, then turned to her companion. "I know more about that part of The Wall than I care to."

"I'm sorry..." Yvette was surprised at the sadness in her companion's eyes.

"Some time, when it is just us, remind me to tell you about James Robert Pettigrew." She gave a glimmer of a smile to Yvette, then she followed Nicky and Buddy down the path.

Yvette watched after her thoughtfully for a moment, then hurried over to the tent to complete her given task. Once inside and waiting her turn, she thought again of the camera and realized that Rivvi had taken it with her.

* * *

Buddy was surprised when he felt Rivvi's hand on his arm. "What?"

"Come." Rivvi grasped his hand and led both brothers to the desired spot -- 4th section to the right, halfway down. There was the name Jacob Thomas Michaels, Jr. -- right next to another name she knew so well. Stepping back, she watched as the two brothers -- slowly, cautiously -- met over the name of a father dead 30 years.

* * *

Yvette found Rivvi standing away from the panel. She tracked the woman's line of sight and saw both brothers at the Wall touching a name. Starting forward, she found herself stopped by Rivvi's hand. She looked up with a question in her eyes -- wondering.

"Not yet. They will let us know when they are ready for the next step."

"Step?"

"When they are ready they will come and get the papers. We will take photographs for them." Rivvi paused before continuing. "I am sorry so much of this seemed telepathic. When I called to talk to Kitty last night she told me Buddy was here and that she had not heard anything. So, she asked if I could find him and make sure he was.... all right."

"Being at the airport wasn't an accident?" Yvette prompted her companion.

"No, it was not. I had to come. Buddy takes so much to heart." Rivvi studied the younger woman and her gaze hardened. "It would not go well for anyone who hurt him."

"You haven't met the Michaels family. Trust me, long before they'd hurt him, they'll overwhelm him with family togetherness. And if he ever got injured in the line of duty, no stone would be left unturned pursuing who did it." Yvette paused before continuing. "You said something about a James Robert Pettigrew. Mind telling me? We have a few minutes."

Rivvi contemplated the request, then she glanced around for a place to sit and saw the bench a few feet away. Leading Yvette to it, she began her story. "He was my godfather." Closing her eyes, she conjured his image and began to remember all the stories she'd been told and had faithfully remembered. "In 1965 he was killed while fighting the Viet Cong. I have photographs with me on his shoulders. Bobby was a born and bred Kentucky Hillbilly. My papa tells me he was the most stubborn man he knew. From what my opa and he were able to find out, Bobby died trying to save a young lieutenant -- Jacob Michaels, Jr."

Understanding dawned on Yvette's face. There was so much more to Rivvi than she'd first realized. "Where'd you first meet Buddy?"

"The first or the second time?" Rivvi asked

"How about both?"

"The first... I was 12. I was visiting my uncle in Boston. It was New Years Eve and Uncle Mark had invited the men under him to a family New Years Eve party. Buddy came with his folks and Raffie and Matt." Pausing before she continued, Rivvi contemplated a way to say just what happened that night. "It was my first kiss. He was very sweet, very charming and very embarrassed when we were interrupted by his younger brother, Mattie."

"Anything else happen?" Yvette probed kindly.

"Nein." Rivvi paused, realizing she'd slipped into German. She corrected and continued. "I am sorry, but no. We did meet again when he came to Germany on an Officer Exchange program. He was assigned to my papa, and for the next 3 months we were very... how do you say... close."

"Intimate?" Yvette supplied.

"You could say that, too," Rivvi agreed with a laugh. "Now, it is your turn. How did you meet Nicky?"

"I met him through my brother and my father, Scott and Robert McCall. He and Scott are cousins." Yvette would have elaborated, but she saw recognition flash on her companions face.

"Robert McCall... late of New York?"

"Do you know him?"

"No, but he has worked with my opa in the past," Rivvi told her.

"Your opa?"

"Hans Dietrich. He is my grandfather... my opa. More I cannot say, but I would guess your father could tell you quite a few stories about him."

"So, he's a spy?" Yvette concluded.

"Among other things." Glancing up, she saw that the brothers were headed towards them. "Looks like they're ready." At that both women stood and moved to join the men.

Rivvi hugged Buddy. "All right?"

"Yeah, but we'd like to do one of those rubbings." He smiled when Yvette held up the required papers.

"How 'bout doing three? One for each of you and one for your grandma," she suggested. She held them out for Buddy to take.

Nicky wrapped his arms around Yvette and pulled her into a hug, pleased with her foresight. Walking back toward the memorial, he wondered at the weight that seemed to have lifted from his chest. He knew there would be a lot more work involved in getting to know Buddy, but at least they'd made a start. Reaching The Wall, Nicky knelt and began the process of rubbing the pencil across the paper. The other two pieces Yvette had given Buddy fluttered in his brother's hand.

Yvette took the polaroid camera away from Rivvi and checked the viewfinder. When she found the shot she wanted, she clicked off three shots. Then she waited for Buddy and Nicky to finish, wondering if her father had ever visited The Wall to remember all of the men who'd died in a far off land called Viet Nam. Or maybe those memories had been too painful.

Buddy took the last of the rubbings and placed it in his pocket. He'd been staring down at Nicky, but when he looked up he caught a reflection in The Wall. The image was his, but it wasn't. It was more careworn than he'd ever been. He wondered about it, but as he wondered the reflection was gone and he was once again studying his own face. There hadn't even been enough time to ask Nicky if he'd seen it.

Shaking his head, Buddy held out his hand to his brother. "How 'bout that lunch? I'm starved."

Nicky was startled, but then realized Buddy seemed less tense and nowhere near as remote as before. He'd have to remember to thank Rivvi. Maybe she wasn't so bad after all. With his brother he walked back toward the ladies. Through the layers of his jacket he could feel Buddy's arm as it rested lightly on his shoulder. And suddenly Nicky was hungry too.

"Yeah, let's eat. How do you feel about enchilada's?"

Buddy smiled. "They're okay, little brother, but I like lasagna better. Let's see what we find when we get to the highway." Buddy continued to casually drape his arm over his brother's shoulder even after they rejoined Rivvi and Yvette. Together the four walked toward the car.

* * *

In the restaurant Buddy excused himself to go check on his flight, only to discover it had already taken off 30 minutes ago. Somehow he hadn't thought the trip to The Wall had taken so long. Shaking his head, he realized he should have, he also realized something else and it scared him. He was glad Rivvi had showed up.

Nick watched his brother coming across the room. Rivvi and Yvette had gone to the ladies room. "What's up?"

"Seems my flight's come and gone." At the guilty look on Nick's face, Buddy hastened to reassure his brother. "Hey, don't sweat it. I wouldn't trade this trip for anything." Inclining his head, he toasted his brother with his water glass.

Nick started to ask Buddy about Rivvi, then hesitated, wondering if the ground between them was firm enough to start asking such personal questions. He finally decided to take a shot. The worst that could happen was that Buddy would clam up again. "What's with you and Rivvi?" he inquired casually. "You guys serious?"

Buddy sighed, deciding just how to explain his complicated relationship with the woman of his dreams... or his nightmares. He laughed to himself. Yeah, depending on the year he looked at it. Grinning at his brother, he began. "Let's see... about ten years ago I was in West Germany on an exchange program and the partner they assigned me was an August Dietrich. Rivvi is his daughter. He took me home, put me up in the guest room, and taught me. Then Rivvi came home from her grandparents in Scotland and the rest is history." He shook his head ruefully. "You could say that there are certain members of her family who don't remember me and smile."

Nick looked askance at his brother. He couldn't have done anything that bad... could he? "Okay, I give up. What'd you do?"

"Didn't marry her."

"But that's ridiculous," Nicky sputtered. "This is the 90's. While we don't exactly practice free love anymore..." Nick realized his brother wasn't finished and subsided.

"I know that... you know that... but parts of Scotland, Kentucky and Illinois weren't informed." Nicky's confusion was evident on his face so Buddy continued. "For three months we lived together, then I come home to the States and Rivvi refused to go. Said she couldn't... wouldn't tell me why. I found out later what the problem was, but by the time everything got straightened out..." Buddy shrugged his shoulders. How could he tell someone about a year's worth of pain that he didn't even understand. A light touch on his shoulder caused him to look up. Grasping Rivvi's hand, he kissed the palm, then stood up to hold out her chair.

"I see that my ears had reason to burn," Rivvi observed.

"Nicky wanted to know more about how we met." Reaching out, Buddy caressed her cheek. "You Okay?"

"Ja, danke." Rivvi closed her eyes as she leaned into his caress. She'd known this would happen. He knew her too well.

At that moment the waiter appeared. Once their orders were taken, the conversation turned to Buddy's flight.

"I called and the flight left 30 minutes ago." He grinned engagingly at Rivvi, "Any chance of thumbing a ride?" Suddenly realization dawned. "You set this up. You and my mother set this up."

"Buddy, you are a grown man. How could I, much less your mother, have set this up? We had nothing to do with the Michaels finding you."

"No, but you and my mom did plan for your little trip to New Mexico. I know you." He waved an accusing fork in her direction. "You're up to something." Buddy wanted to get mad at being so easily manipulated by both of them, but he kept remembering his mom at his apartment... and Rivvi's face when she'd first seen him at the airport.

Nicky watched the byplay between Buddy and his friend. He started to interrupt, but Yvette whispered in his ear. "Let it go, counselor."

Rivvi suddenly realized that they'd been ignoring the other two at the table. "I am sorry. We get to... talking and forget."

Yvette waited until after the waiter refilled their drinks then asked what she'd been wondering all afternoon. "How did you know about The Wall? I mean, Dinh told me about it, but..."

Rivvi smiled slyly. "When I talked with Kitty on the phone she told me what had happened. Buddy has always gone to visit the Capatosa's grave. If you had gone to his father's grave, then I would have said nothing, but to understand Buddy you have to understand his past." She felt Buddy squeeze her hand with understanding and the waiter brought their food.

"And that's where The Wall came in." At the back of Yvette's brain another picture fell into place. Yesterday, when she'd taken Caitlin to the bank there had been an advertisement for the Traveling Wall. "Let me guess, you saw the signs posted at the airport."

"Ja," Rivvi nodded and raised her glass in a toast to her new friend.

The rest of the lunch finished quickly. Nick grabbed the bill and Buddy didn't fight him over it. Then they walked out to the Blazer. Buddy got in front with his brother, but the trip back to the airport was filled with silence. Once there, Buddy collected his carry-on and they went to the gate leading to the private jets. There the two brothers hugged, while Yvette and Rivvi divided the photographs and rubbings.

Silently, Nicky watched his brother cross the tarmac and climb into the jet. Turning to go, he was stopped by Yvette's hand. "What?"

"Look at these." There was wonder in her voice as she held out both pictures so Nicky could see them.

In the photo Nicky could see himself and his brother. Then he noticed the reflection on The Wall. The image reflected back was... his father.