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Murphy Michaels studied the envelope on his desk, his usually pleasant face darkened by a deep scowl. He should've been happy. This packet of forms and reports marked the end of a search that had taken over a year, combining the efforts of Murphy's own staff, plus Laura and Remington in Los Angeles. Both Lee and McCall had also pulled strings at some high levels to open up files buried in bureaucratic red tape. A lot of manhours, both professional and voluntary had gone into obtaining the information in front of him now. It had been a family project, with nearly everyone helping at some point, if only to track down some loose end or false lead. Now it was nearly over. He should've been ecstatic; he knew everyone else would be when they found out, but for some reason Murphy wasn't entirely joyful.

Ever since last summer, when Nick asked for help in finding his previously unknown sibling, Murphy had felt uncertain about the whole affair. He wasn't completely sure they were doing the right thing. After all, over thirty years had gone by. Why take some unsuspecting soul, probably happy in his or her life, and drag that person into the mess Uncle Jake had made with his arrogance and meddling. But Nicky had been so excited about the prospect, so enthused... he'd been impossible to refuse.

Murphy hadn't been there when Nick read the letter left to him by Uncle Jake, but he found out about it shortly thereafter. As soon as they had shown up for the reunion last year, Andy called them all together and announced that Nicky had something to tell them. Murphy remembered distinctly how nervous his younger cousin looked. He kept fidgeting with the envelope in his hands as he dropped the bomb.

It was still hard to believe. Even as Nick explained the situation, Murphy sat in disbelief, not ready to accept that even Uncle Jake could be that low. As his cousin asked for help, Murphy began to wonder. If he was J.J.'s unknown child, would he want to be part of a family that had cast him aside?

No one else seemed to share his feelings. There was an air of anticipation during the rest of the reunion. Everyone wanted to help in any way they could. The only one who didn't know about this project was Aunt Cassie. Nick had consulted with his mother and decided it would be best not to tell his grandmother until they located the object of their search. That way, if the person declined to become a part of the family, Cassie wouldn't be hurt.

All that was over now. After many long discussions with Sherry about the psychological impact this might have, Murphy had buried his misgivings and plunged into the effort to find their missing cousin. Now he was facing the fruits of that work. He was the first one to see it. Lee had managed to loosen the red tape but the file had come to Murphy's office. For some reason, as he opened the large envelope, his hands were shaking. He spilled out the contents and poured over the documents with his heart racing.

They knew J.J.'s old girlfriend, Maria Torres, had left New Mexico with the money Uncle Jake provided. Her parents had been dead for the last ten years and Maria was an only child. Trying to trace her had been almost impossible. She'd moved to Ohio and changed her name. After that, they'd lost her trail for months. There had been no record of the baby's birth and for a time, they feared that perhaps she'd gone ahead and gotten the abortion Jake had suggested and she'd originally refused.

They continued with dogged determination however, and now Murphy had the rest of the puzzle. He stared down at a marriage license and a birth certificate. Obviously Maria had married before the baby was born and registered the infant under her husband's name. When she found someone to take care of both her and her child, she let the man give the boy his own name.

That name! He stared down at the papers in amazement.

Well, I'll be damned!

He knew it. Incredible as it seemed, he'd actually met the man they'd all been searching so diligently for. True, it had been a long time ago, seven or eight years, but he should've at least remembered the incident. He blasted his stupidity. It had caused them to waste so much time. His only consolation was that obviously neither Lee, Skip nor even Amanda had remembered the meeting.

Reaching across his desk, he grabbed the phone. He glanced at his watch as he punched in the numbers, checking to see how late it would be in Maryland. Not too bad, he decided. He'd probably be interrupting their dinner, but at least he wouldn't be getting them out of bed.

The phone rang a few times before he heard someone pick it up.

"Hullo?" a little girl's voice spoke up brightly.

"Hey there, Jenny. It's Uncle Murphy."

"Hi, Uncle Murphy. Gueth what? I loth my other front tooth today."

Murphy smiled, in spite of the tension he felt. He could just envision the little six year old's gap-toothed grin. "That's great, Jenn. Be sure and put it under your pillow."

"I will," she assured him emphatically.

"Let me talk to your dad, Honey."

"Okay," she agreed amiably. "I'll get him." Murphy could hear the rustling as she turned away from the phone. "Daddy!" she called loudly. After a few moments he heard her again, this time in a more normal voice. "Ith Uncle Murphy."

"Thanks, Sweetheart." Lee's voice was slightly muffled then he must have taken the phone from his daughter for he suddenly became clearer. "Murph?"

"Yeah, it's me. I hope I didn't take you away from dinner or anything."

"You didn't. We just finished. So what's up?" In spite of the casual question, Murphy could hear the anticipation in Lee's voice. They'd been expecting this news for the last two days.

Murphy didn't answer for a moment. His eyes once more moved over the documents spread out before him.

"Murphy?" Lee sounded concerned. "Nothing's wrong, is it?"

Murphy shook off his apprehension. "No... not really. It's just that... I got the file today. It was delivered to my office."

Now it was Lee's turn to be silent. Murphy waited patiently for his cousin to resume the conversation.

"Okay," Lee replied tentatively. "So what's the verdict?"

"It's a boy."

"That's great." Lee chuckled lightly. "I guess cigars would be inappropriate."

"Funny," Murphy commented drily then continued. "It's like we thought. She got married and gave the kid her married name. That's why we had such a hard time finding them."

"But you know where they are?"

"One of them." Murphy picked up one of the legal papers and glanced over it. "Maria died in a car accident in '64."

"Damn," Lee muttered softly over the phone.

"Yeah," Murphy agreed wholeheartedly. "Sounds like she never really got a break in life. But it gets worse. Her husband was killed that same year. The kid got placed in a foster home and was later adopted by his foster parents. We probably would've never found him but for some reason he kept his own last name."

"Well, at least he had a family," Lee observed.

Murphy sighed. "Lee... is any of this starting to sound familiar to you?"

"No... should it?"

Murphy started to reply but Lee interrupted him. "Where's the kid now?"

Murphy had to grin. "He's not exactly a kid anymore, Lee. He's thirty-four years old."

Murphy heard Lee laugh on the other end. "I guess you're right. So, where is this man now?"

"He's near your end of the country... Boston."

"Boston, huh. That's not too far. I guess I could set up a meeting with him."

Murphy sighed again. Lee wasn't really being dense. He wouldn't have made the connection either. He supposed he would have to spell it out. "I think Amanda should be the one to make the initial contact."

"Amanda? Why?"

"First of all, because she's a woman and might handle things with a little more finesse than either you or me. Second... because she knows the guy already."

"What?" Lee sounded incredulous and Murphy waited for his cousin to put two and two together. It wouldn't take too long. He hadn't been out of the field that long. At last, Lee's voice sounded again. This time, it was more pointed. "A kid who was orphaned then adopted... and he grew up in Boston? Murphy... what's this guy's name?

Murphy knew Lee had finally clued in. "You probably already know. It's Capatosa... Buddy Capatosa."

Buddy ran a brush quickly through his blond hair and stood back from the mirror so he could see all of his large frame in the glass. He gave himself a quick once-over. No matter how old he or his brothers got, they still had to pass inspection in order to sit at their mother's dinner table. She allowed no disorder during the meal, and that included your appearance.

The door to his old room swung open and 13 year old Darnell poked his head in.

"Hey, Buddy. Hurry up. Mom says dinner's ready."

"I'm coming right now." He tossed the brush back on the dresser and headed out the door behind his little brother.

They were the last ones to arrive. Darnell sat down beside their mother and Buddy took his usual place next to Mike. His foster father gave him an affectionate punch on the shoulder.

"That's for being late."

"Aw, Pop. You know I've been on stakeout for the last three nights. I overslept."

"So the rest of us have to eat cold enchiladas," Rafael complained. He sat across the table from Darnell, an exaggerated expression of suffering on his face.

"Rafie's just mad cuz it's his birthday dinner and we had to wait for you," Matt explained from his place beside Rafie, a twinkling smile completing his baby-faced good looks.

"I'm not mad," Rafie replied defensively. "I just think it's rude to keep Mom waiting."

"That's enough, boys."

The request was quiet but firm. This was Kitty Ragland's domain and she ruled it like a benevolent queen. Her husband and sons obeyed her out of both love and respect.

"Sorry, Mom," Rafie apologized.

Kitty smiled and reached for Rafie's hand on her left and young Darnell's on her right. Around the table, everyone followed her example and took hands as Mike bowed his bald head and began to say grace. This was a regular ritual in their home, started when the boys were small. Because of the diverse nature of their foster children, both Mike and Kitty felt the youngsters needed to have unity in their home. This dinner time prayer brought everyone together, no matter what kind of a day they'd had. There was never a family meal without it, even now with the first three grown into men and living on their own.

With his eyes closed, listening to Mike pray, it was all Buddy could do to stay awake. He really should've stayed home and caught up on his missed sleep but there was no way he would've missed Rafie's birthday dinner. The sound of the telephone ringing startled him awake and he automatically jumped. The pressure of his father's hand kept him in his seat. Buddy sat still until Mike finished praying then he got up to answer the phone.

"Ragland residence," he announced. He could smell the enchiladas Kitty had taken from the oven and his stomach grumbled at this interruption.

"Yes," came a woman's voice. "I was looking for Officer Buddy Capatosa. Would he happen to be there?"

"This is Sergeant Capatosa."

"Sergeant? Well, I guess it has been a few years. I don't know if you'll remember me or not. This is Amanda... Amanda King... Well, it's actually Amanda Stetson now but I wasn't sure if you'd remember that name or not."

Buddy smiled as the woman rambled on. He did remember her, though she was right. It had been a long time ago.

"Sure I do," he told her when she finally stopped to take a breath. "Poncho and the DEA... the trip to Aspen."

"Right."

There was a pause on the other end and Buddy wondered what had prompted her to call. If he remembered right, she was a federal agent. He wasn't working on anything right now that was remotely connected with the Feds. What business could she possibly have with him?

"Amanda... is there something I can do for you?" he prompted. "Is anything wrong?"

"Oh no... not at all." Amanda assured him hastily. "I'm sorry... this isn't coming out right."

"Don't worry about it," Buddy said with a smile. The assignment was becoming clearer in his memory and he remembered Amanda as a very pleasant person. Her partner and his cousins had been a little on the strange side, but he didn't hold that against her. "Just tell me what's on your mind."

"I was wondering if I could meet with you. This really isn't anything that should be discussed over the phone. Is there a good time for you?"

Buddy mentally ran through his schedule for the coming week. He was booked solid. It would have to be tonight. He hated to interrupt Rafie's birthday, but hopefully this wouldn't take long.

"How 'bout tonight?"

"That would be okay. At your place?"

"No, I'm at my folks." He paused and frowned, realizing she'd known to call him here. "You got the address?"

"Um... yes, I do."

Buddy wondered if it was his imagination, but she sounded a little guilty.

"Great then. Say around eight?"

"That's fine. I'll see you then."

Buddy hung up the phone and stared at it absently for a while. It was a curious call, that was for certain. He supposed there was no use wondering. He would find out in a couple of hours anyway.

"Is anything wrong, Son?"

Buddy turned to see Mike standing behind him. His foster father was short, barely reaching Buddy's chin, but he'd always managed to carry an air of authority about him that raised his stature in other's eyes. Right now he was staring up at Buddy, a look of concern creasing his hairless brow. Buddy shrugged.

"I'm not sure. Somebody I worked with a long time ago wants to see me. She's coming by tonight. Hope you don't mind."

"No problem here. What time?"

"Eight o'clock."

"Fine then." Mike put a hand on Buddy's arm. "That's not for two more hours. Right now, your dinner's waiting and so are your brothers."

Buddy allowed himself to be led back into the dining room. The sights and smells of Kitty's delicious dinner pushed any other concerns to the back of his mind as he took his seat and started eating.

Amanda hung up the phone and breathed a sigh of relief. That task was done. She glanced over at Lee. He sat on the hotel bed, pictures and papers spread out in front of him. She came over and sat down beside him.

"Eight o'clock," she informed him. "I don't know why I'm so nervous."

Lee looked up and gave her an understanding smile. "Amanda, we're about to take a nice guy and turn his whole life upside down. I think you have a right to be a little anxious about it."

"Maybe Murphy's right. Maybe it isn't our place to do this."

Lee shook his head. "If we keep this to ourselves, we'll be as bad as Uncle Jake... playing God and making decisions for people. All we're going to do is tell Buddy what we know. It'll be up to him to decide how that information will affect his life."

Amanda wished she could be as sure as Lee sounded. "I just keep thinking how I would feel if someone suddenly told me I wasn't who I thought I was."

Lee took her hand and she met his earnest blue eyes.

"And I keep thinking how this could've easily been me. After all, if the Colonel hadn't taken me to the ranch, I never would've known I even had any other family. What if he'd waited till I was twenty instead of ten." He shook his head. "I think Buddy needs to know the truth."

Amanda listened to the intensity of Lee's words and knew he was feeling this deeply. She moved closer to him and put her arm around his shoulder. They were silent for a moment, then her gaze fell upon the papers Lee had been studying.

"Is this the stuff Murphy sent?"

"Yeah. He overnighted the whole package." He reached down and picked up a report of some kind. "Seems Buddy's had an interesting life. His 'father,' Vince Capatosa, was a front man for the mob... trying to work his way up. Lovely guy to let adopt your son."

"Lee, we don't know why Maria married him. Maybe she didn't know what he did." She began to sift through the photos and picked up the only one of Maria they'd been able to find. It was from her high school year book and showed a pretty, young girl with long, dark hair and big brown eyes. Amanda's heart went out to her for what she'd gone through. Lee's voice interrupted her thoughts.

"I guess it doesn't matter now anyway." He scanned the rest of the report. "He was killed in a police raid on his restaurant and... My God!"

Amanda looked up in concern. "What's wrong?"

Lee shook his head in disbelief. "Amanda, the policeman who killed Capatosa was Mike Ragland... Buddy's foster father."

Amanda's heart cringed. She could only imagine what heartache that must have caused for both Buddy and his adopted father. "How awful... for both of them."

Lee nodded grimly. "That's when Ragland and his wife took Buddy in. He was only three years old and left all alone." He glanced back down at the paper in his hand. "A few years later, they also took in Rafael Martinez and Matthew Matheson."

Amanda nodded. She'd met Rafie when she was working with Buddy on that DEA assignment, though she thought Buddy had been teasing her when he introduced the Puerto Rican officer as his brother.

"Last year they also adopted a young black boy, twelve years old... one Darnell Johnson." Lee glanced up from his reading. "These Raglands sound like pretty good people."

"They sure do," Amanda agreed. She picked up another picture. It showed three young police officers in uniform. Amanda recognized Buddy's large frame and the distinctly Michaels face that had thrown them all for a loop long ago. She could also pick out Rafie, his Latin looks apparent, even in the black and white copy. Beside him was a dark haired, fresh faced cadet, probably Matthew. He must have been too young to be an officer when they'd worked with Buddy before.

She lay the picture aside and reached for another one. This was a more recent photo of Buddy with his foster parents. It was a copy of a newspaper clipping showing Buddy receiving some service award. He towered over both the Raglands. She sighed. They certainly looked happy. She wondered if Jake had given any thought at all as to what would happen to his grandchild. Probably not. He wasn't the type. She shuddered to think what Buddy's fate might have been if he'd grown up with Vince Capatosa instead of Mike Ragland. There was little doubt he would have followed in his father's footsteps. Amanda decided that if there was a hell, Jake Michaels was due to spend a lot of time there.

"It's nearly time we got going."

Lee's voice brought Amanda back to their surroundings. She glanced at the clock. It was seven-thirty.

"I guess it is." She stood up off the bed. "I still feel nervous about this."

Lee came over and took her into his arms. She held him tightly, reluctant to let go.

"Don't worry, Amanda," he told her, gently stroking her hair. "It'll turn out okay. You'll see."

She pulled back to smile up at him. "I hope you're right."

Rafie had just opened up his present from Darnell. It was a brightly colored tie. He held it up and eyed it critically.

"You sure it goes with my image, kiddo?"

Darnell laughed. "The girls'll love it," he assured his brother.

"Just the thing for the Prince of Puerto Rico," Matthew added with a smirk.

Buddy tried his best to keep a straight face. The tie was a little loud, even for Rafie. "You're right, Matty," he added. "I think it goes great with his Latin charms."

Rafie gave both Matt and Buddy a glare but he turned a smile toward Darnell. "Thanks, Little Brother. I'll wear it on my next date."

"Whenever that may be," Matt jibed.

"I'll have you know, brother dear, that I just happen to have an evening with Prudence all lined up for next Saturday."

"In your dreams, Rafie," Matthew contradicted. "I know for a fact she was only humoring you."

The sound of the doorbell interrupted the goodnatured bickering. Buddy glanced at his watch. Eight o'clock on the dot. At least Amanda was punctual. He rose up from the couch.

"Excuse me," he apologized to his family. "Hopefully this won't take long."

He walked out to the front door and opened it. He was surprised to find not only Amanda but a man as well. It took only a moment for him to recognize her partner from Aspen, though his name escaped him.

"Hello, Buddy," Amanda greeted timidly. She gestured to the man beside her. "You remember Lee? Lee Stetson?"

Now Buddy did. He also remembered Amanda saying on the telephone that she was Amanda Stetson now. Obviously the two had been more than partners.

"Sure. Come on in." He moved aside to let them in, then led them into the den, where they could talk in private. He noticed Amanda seemed nervous. Lee however, appeared more determined than anything else.

They sat down and for a moment an awkward silence filled the small room.

"What can I do for you?" Buddy asked finally.

Amanda and Lee exchanged glances then Lee nodded for Amanda to proceed.

"Buddy... " Amanda looked over at Lee once more then turned to face him squarely. "Do you remember when we were in Aspen... how Skip... well, how we all thought you looked like Lee's cousin, J.J.?"

Buddy nodded silently. It had been a weird coincidence, but he hadn't given it much thought since then.

"I know we all just brushed it off as one of those things but... Well, last year some information came to light and..." She turned to Lee as if in an appeal for help. He squeezed her hand in encouragement. Amanda turned back to Buddy and continued. "Buddy, it seems there's more to your resemblance to J.J. than just coincidence."

Buddy frowned in confusion. "What do you mean?" He saw Amanda take a deep breath. Obviously this wasn't coming easily for her.

"Lee's Uncle Jake, J.J.'s father, passed away last year. In his effects, he left a letter that told about a young girl who came to him after J.J. left for college. She was pregnant." Amanda paused and then continued. "You'd have to know Jake, I suppose, to understand. But he sent the girl away and never told his son about the baby."

"Sounds pretty low down," Buddy observed. He was still waiting for them to come to his part in all this.

Amanda nodded. "That was Jake, all right. Anyway, nobody knew about this until we found the letter. J.J. had married before he was killed. He had a son... Nicky. The letter was addressed to him. He's an only child and wanted pretty badly to find out what happened to this mysterious sibling. It's taken us over a year, but we finally found him."

She fell silent but her pointed gaze was disconcerting. Buddy grew suddenly uncomfortable.

"I'm not sure what you're getting at, Amanda," he told her. "You can't mean me."

Amanda glanced over at Lee again, silently turning things over to him. He opened up a file folder he'd been carrying.

"Your given name is Anthony Capatosa, right?"

"Yeah." It sounded strange to hear his real name. Nobody ever called him Anthony. Mike had started calling him Buddy from the time he was three years old; it was the only name anyone ever called him.

"Is this your mother?" Lee held up a small picture.

Buddy took it hesitantly. He had no pictures of his parents. The only ones he'd seen were of his father and they were police surveillance shots. His only images of his mother were his ever fading, childhood memories. He looked at the young girl in the photo. She was fresh faced and pretty, like most teenagers. It was hard to connect this girl, who was little more than a child, to his distant recollections of his mother but there was enough he still remembered to be fairly sure this was the right person. He nodded slowly.

"I can't be positive, but it looks like her... at least how I remember her.

"Her name was Maria Fowler, right?" Lee looked up for confirmation.

Buddy nodded again... reluctantly. "Yes, it was."

Lee shook his head and held up a paper. "That wasn't her real name. She had it legally changed. She was born Maria Torres."

"You're wrong," Buddy informed him testily. He was beginning to feel hostile. What right did they have to waltz in here with their crazy theories? "My mother wasn't Latin," he continued, then smirked. "I hardly look Hispanic."

"You don't exactly look Italian either," Lee shot back.

Buddy started to bristle but Amanda placed a placating hand on his arm.

"We're not here to argue," she said with an admonishing look at Lee. She turned back to Buddy. "We don't mean to upset you, Buddy. Just hear us out." He nodded apologetically.

"Just for the record," Lee resumed, his voice kinder, "your mother was only half Mexican." He pulled out another paper and read from it. "In '61, your mother married Vincent Capatosa."

Buddy felt his jaw clench at the mention of his father's name. He still harbored a degree of resentment about what the man had been. "That's right," he replied tightly.

Lee handed the papers to Amanda. She passed them over to him, then placed a comforting hand on his as she showed him the documents.

"Have you ever seen these?" she asked softly.

Buddy took them from her and quickly glanced over them. The first was a notice of name change for Maria Torres to Maria Fowler. The other documents were a marriage certificate for his parents and his own birth certificate. The date of his parents' marriage was only a few months prior to his birth.

"This doesn't prove anything," he insisted stubbornly. "A lot of women are pregnant before they get married."

Lee handed him another set of papers. These were copies of his parents blood tests. His mother was O positive and his father was A positive. He stared at them for a long moment in silence.

"What's your blood type, Buddy?" Amanda's quiet question broke into his thoughts.

"O negative," he replied in a whispered voice, even though he figured they already knew the answer.

It couldn't be true. They had to be wrong. But here was the evidence staring him in the face. His mind was reeling, trying to come up with a way to prove them wrong, but somehow he already knew he couldn't. He was dimly aware of Amanda handing him the rest of the file.

"We'll go now, Buddy," she told him gently. "Our hotel number is in there. You take your time... go over all this. But call us if you want to talk some more. We'll be in town for a few days."

He heard them leave. He never got up to show them out. He just sat there, staring at the papers in his hand. He thought he'd had all the surprises he could handle when he'd found out about his father being in the mob and about Mike being the one who shot him. But now... He wondered if Mike knew about this too and suddenly his whole life seemed to waver unsteadily. There wasn't anything he could count on anymore.

Amanda lay unmoving across the hotel bed. She felt exhausted. The encounter with Buddy had been emotionally draining. Even though they hadn't stayed very long, just watching the reaction on his face as he tried to absorb what they were telling him had been hard to take. She stared up at the ceiling and listened distractedly to Lee's onesided telephone conversation with Murphy.

"I'm not sure yet... No, don't tell Nicky anything... not until we hear back... Yeah, we left everything with him. It's up to him now... We'll stay a few days... give him a chance to call... Yeah, me too... Okay... Talk to you later."

She heard him hang up the phone and a moment later felt him sit down beside her on the bed. She turned to meet his gaze.

"Lee, did you see his face? I felt so bad for him."

Lee nodded. "I know. I just hope after the shock wears off, he'll call and come talk to us."

Amanda remained silent, her eyes once more focused on the ceiling above. Lee stretched out beside her and moved to take her into his arms. She went willingly. She needed to feel his strength right now.

"We did the right thing, Amanda. He'll work it through," he assured her. "He seems pretty strong."

Amanda looked into Lee's caring blue eyes and smiled lovingly. "He ought to be... he's a Michaels."

Lee returned her smile. "Hopefully we can convince him to come out to the ranch. There'll be plenty of other Michaels to introduce him to."

Amanda studied his face, so steady and calm. It was one of the things that she loved and admired about him, his ability to handle difficult situations. She reached out to touch his cheek tenderly. "How did you feel, Lee... when you found out you had a family besides just the Colonel?"

Lee's face clouded. Now it was his turn to stare up at the ceiling. Amanda wondered if she'd strayed into dangerous territory. Even after knowing him for eleven years and being married for the last eight, she still avoided asking Lee too many questions about his childhood. It was a painful subject for him to talk about. Finally though, he turned back to face her.

"It was different for me, Amanda. I was just a kid and I hardly had what you'd call a great family life. Finding Grandma and Grandpa Michaels... and Murphy and Skip and Andy... and everybody else... It was like Heaven to me. Besides, my parents died... they didn't send me away. But Buddy... he's got a great family already. Now to find out Uncle Jake just got rid of his mother because she was inconvenient... What exactly are we offering him? It's not really the kind of heritage you want to claim."

"But that was just Jake. No one else had a hand in it."

Lee shrugged. "Buddy doesn't know that. He doesn't know what the rest of the family is like."

Amanda frowned thoughtfully. "I certainly hope he gives himself the chance to find out."

Buddy had no idea what time it was. He hadn't moved from the den since Amanda had put the file in his hand. He'd gone over all the documents and pictures almost mechanically until he came to one... a picture of a young man in a West Point Cadet's uniform. This had to be J.J. He turned it over and confirmed the information. Scratched in pencil on the back were the words, To Mom and Dad, Jacob Michaels, Jr. '62.

Buddy flipped the photo back over and studied the face that stared back at him. He was wearing his hat so it was hard to see much of his hair, but what little of the army crew cut showed was blond. He was a big man; he filled out the uniform well. Even though it was only a picture, the clear blue eyes seemed open and honest. Buddy couldn't help but mentally compare this young man to the file photos he'd seen of Vince Capatosa. The shots of his father always appeared furtive, like he had something to hide.

Buddy's jaw tightened. He knew what kind of man Vincent Capatosa had been and what he'd been striving to become before he'd been stopped by Mike Ragland. He looked back down at the picture of J.J. He couldn't have come up with two men any more opposite. He supposed that if what Amanda and Lee told him was true, he should be glad, but he was finding it hard to rejoice just yet.

He glanced up into the mirror that framed the wall clock. His face barely fit into the corner of the glass. He stared at his reflection intently then shifted his gaze back down to the photo in his hand. His eyes went back and forth this way several times before they finally rested again on his own image.

God, no wonder they all thought I was J.J.

He shook his head in amazement. They could very nearly be twins. He looked over at the papers scattered on the desk. They all looked authentic. If this was a hoax, it was the most elaborate one he'd ever seen and he couldn't think of any reason why Amanda would lie to him. He'd only worked with her one time and that had been eight years ago. To tell the truth, until she'd called him, he'd never even given her a thought. He cast one last look in the mirror, his mouth working thoughtfully. What in hell was he supposed to do now?

Mike Ragland was concerned. He'd heard Buddy's visitors leave and had expected his oldest son to rejoin the family festivities. But when nearly an hour passed and still the door to the den remained closed, he decided it was time to find out what was going on. He got quietly to his feet and slipped out of the living room. He didn't want to alarm the rest of his family. He noticed however, that as he left, his wife's eyes met his questioningly. Kitty didn't miss much that went on in this house. Mike gave her a placating smile. He wasn't even sure himself if anything was wrong yet. He didn't want her to worry.

He rapped softly but got no answer. "Buddy?" he called quietly. "Son?" He still heard nothing so he turned the knob and pushed the door open slowly.

He wasn't sure what he'd expected, but what he found was Buddy sitting quietly by the window, staring out into the night. Everything looked in order, but it felt all wrong.

"Buddy?" Mike came in and closed the door behind him. "You okay, Son?"

"Yeah, Dad. Just great." Buddy's voice was low and he never turned from the window.

"Everybody's waiting for you. They wanna cut the cake."

There was still silence from his oldest son and Mike's brow furled in concern. He came closer then stopped as his eyes came to rest on the clutter of papers and pictures scattered across the desk where Buddy sat. Curious, he shuffled through them. They seemed to trace his son's life history and Mike wondered why anybody would take the time to do that.

"Who were those people, Son?" he asked with a frown.

Buddy shrugged, his eyes still focused on the street outside. "Just a couple I worked with on a case a long time ago."

Mike fixed his son with a hard stare. "A couple of what?"

Buddy finally turned away from the window. His face was unreadable. "A couple of Federal Agents," he replied calmly.

"Feds!" If Mike had still possessed eyebrows, they would've shot up in surprise.

"Yeah." Buddy gestured at the papers before them. "I guess that's the only way they found out all this stuff."

Mike let his eyes drop back to the desk top. "All what stuff?"

Buddy reached over and handed his father several official looking documents. Mike took them gingerly. His eyes narrowed as he read them over. Buddy had been hurt several times in the line of duty and Mike knew all too well his son's blood type. He realized at once what this information meant. He lowered the papers.

"So maybe Vince Capatosa wasn't really your old man. Why do they care?"

A ghost of a smile crossed Buddy's face. "If they're right, then they're my long lost cousins. They've been looking for me for over a year."

"Cousins... Hmmmm."

Mike studied the blood tests as his thoughts raced furiously. He knew what a struggle it had been for Buddy to accept the kind of man his father had been. It had been even harder when he found out Mike had been the one who'd killed the up and coming mobster. Mike still wasn't positive that his son had put the episode completely behind him. Now... to learn that the man he'd always thought was his father was no relation to him at all... Mike could only imagine what a curve that had thrown Buddy.

He glanced over at his oldest boy. Not a boy, he corrected himself. A man. A grown man, able to deal with whatever life handed him; or in this case, threw at him from out of the blue.

"So what else did they have to tell you?" he asked gently.

Buddy met his gaze and held it for a long moment. Mike could usually read his sons easily but Buddy's face was a blank. Finally though, he reached down and picked up another sheet of paper. He handed it across the desk.

Mike took the paper. It appeared to be a copy of a letter. He moved over to sit down in the easy chair across from the desk. It didn't take long to read through the missive but in that time, Mike felt a feeling of intense dislike growing inside himself for a man he'd never met or ever would. He glanced back up and saw Buddy was once more staring out the window.

"Talk to me, Son." He knew Buddy was feeling this deeply, but he also knew his oldest sons's penchant for bottling things up inside. Buddy sighed heavily and turned back to face Mike. "Tell me what you're thinking."

"I'm not sure," Buddy admitted slowly. "What am I supposed to think?" He rose from the chair and walked slowly over to stand in front of the bookcase, staring at the volumes without really seeing them. "Dad... all our lives you've told us our pasts were what made us what we are."

"That's right," Mike replied quietly. "That's why we had you boys keep your own last names... so you'd know where you came from."

Buddy turned at that, his face finally showing his emotions... confusion and anger. "But what is my past?" he demanded hotly. "I grew up thinking my folks were some nice couple who owned an Italian restaurant. Then I find out about my father... how he was a penny ante crook climbing the mob's corporate ladder... and how you had to kill him."

Buddy paused and Mike could see the pain that was still there. He started to say something but Buddy raised a hand to forestall him. "I'm not blaming you, Dad. I know why you never told me and I thought I'd dealt with that... I had it all sorted out. But now... now I find out he wasn't even my father." Buddy's shoulders sagged. His anger was suddenly gone, leaving only the confusion as he stood there looking uncertain.

"What is my past, Dad?" Buddy asked again, this time in a soft voice. "I guess I'm not Vince Capatosa's kid." He walked over to the desk and picked up a small picture. "But even if I am J.J. Michaels' son, what does it matter now? He died thirty years ago in Viet Nam. I never knew him and he never even knew I existed. What does that make me?"

To Mike, Buddy sounded like he had as a child, lost and looking for answers. He rose up and moved over to stand beside his son. He took Buddy's arm and turned him so they could stand face to face.

"That's easy, Son. You're still who you've always been... Mike Ragland's oldest boy."

At last Buddy smiled, some of the tension gone out of his face. "Thanks, Dad," he murmured.

Mike nodded wordlessly and dropped his hand from Buddy's arm. "You gonna come back to the party?"

Buddy shook his head slowly. "I've got some thinking to do. I'm not sure exactly what I'm going to do next."

Mike gave him an understanding smile. "I know whatever you finally decide will be the right thing." His smile grew broader. "Mike Ragland didn't raise no dumb boys."

Buddy actually laughed at the familiar refrain and Mike at last felt better about his son's state of mind. He left Buddy alone in the den and rejoined the rest of the family.

Amanda listened absently to the eleven o'clock news as she got ready for bed. It had been two days since they'd met with Buddy and it was hard to just sit around and wait for him to call... or not to call. They'd hardly left their hotel room, ordering their meals in, so as not to miss him. Now they only had one more day left. They were due at the ranch tomorrow night. Their flight left for Albuquerque at 5:00 p.m. Phillip and Jamie, who'd been taking care of Jenny and Matthew, were bringing the kids and meeting them here in Boston for the trip to New Mexico. They couldn't wait much longer to hear from Buddy.

True, their address and phone number back home, along with Nicky's information, were all in the file they'd left. If he took more time to make up his mind, he could always get in touch with them, but Amanda so hoped he wouldn't wait. It would be wonderful if he contacted them before they left Boston, before they went to the reunion.

Lee kept telling her not to get her hopes up. Buddy could just as easily decide to never follow up on what they'd told him. But Amanda was too much a romantic at heart to let herself believe that. After all the pain Jake had caused, it was only right that a little happiness be salvaged.

She had just finished brushing her teeth when she heard the soft knock. Her heart leapt at the sound.

"Amanda?" Lee called from the other room. "Did you order anything?"

Amanda poked her head out of the bathroom. Lee was in his robe, sitting on the edge of the big hotel bed where he'd been stretched out a moment before, watching the news. As Amanda met his gaze, she felt a smile lift the corners of her mouth. Lee held up a warning hand as he arose and tied the sash to his robe.

"Don't get all excited," he cautioned, but Amanda knew him well enough to catch the anticipation in his own expression. He couldn't hide it from her.

"Oh, Lee. Who else could it be at this hour?"

Amanda grabbed her own robe and tossed it on as Lee walked over to the door. He seemed to be going in slow motion, stopping as he reached for the knob.

"Who is it?" he asked quietly, years of experience making him cautious. Amanda was certain she would have merely flung open the door in greeting to whomever was out there.

"It's me... Buddy," came the muffled reply.

Amanda drew in an excited breath. Her smile broadened as Lee opened the door and Buddy walked in.

He was taller than Lee... bigger. His long, dark coat only added to the effect. He'd been wearing a brown fedora when he entered but now he took if off, betraying his nervousness by the way he fingered the brim as he stood there.

"I'm sorry it's so late," he began, his blue eyes moving back and forth between Lee and Amanda. "I made my mind up a little suddenly. I didn't even realize what time it was till I got in the car to come over here. Then I didn't want to turn back... I wasn't sure I'd have the guts to start out again."

Amanda could tell by his voice that Buddy still wasn't completely sure he'd made the right choice. The most important thing to do now would be to put him at ease.

"Don't worry," she assured him as she came over and took his hand. "We were still up. You're not bothering us in the least."

Buddy gave her a quick smile.

"Why don't you have a seat?" Lee offered, pulling out the straight chair from the desk. As Buddy moved over to sit down, he took off his coat, revealing his shoulder harness. Amanda knew without seeing it that his revolver would be there, tucked away within easy reach and she was reminded of the days when a gun was as much a part of Lee's attire as his pants or shirt. She was glad they lived a more peaceful life these days. Lee took Buddy's coat and hung it in the closet then came over and leaned easily against the low dresser. Amanda sat down on the bed.

For a long moment the only sound was a heavy, awkward silence. Buddy stared down at his hat and Lee regarded their visitor curiously. Amanda wasn't sure what was going to happen now. She'd hoped and prayed Buddy would show up and now she didn't know exactly how to proceed. It was Buddy himself who finally broke the ice.

"So... " At last he looked up from his hat. He smiled again, this time a little self-consciously. "What happens next?"

Lee shrugged casually. "I guess that's kind of up to you. What do you want to do?"

Buddy shook his head. "I'm not really sure. I gotta tell you, I'm still a little bit... I don't know... weird about all this."

"Of course you are," Amanda broke in sympathetically. "We dumped an awful lot on you without any warning. I'm sure it's going to take some time to adjust."

Buddy gave a short laugh. "That's the understatement of the year."

"There's quite a few people who'd like to meet you," Lee informed him. "If you're interested."

"Nicky?" Buddy glanced up at Lee questioningly.

Lee nodded. "For starters. He is your brother after all."

Buddy stood up and walked to the window, staring out at the night for a moment. "I can't tell you how strange it is to suddenly be told you have a brother. I mean... I have brothers I grew up with... I know them and they know me... even if we aren't related by blood. Nicky though... he's a complete stranger." He turned back to face them. "Can you tell me about him... what he's like? I read what was in the file, but it wasn't much."

"Nicky's a great kid," Lee began.

"Oh Lee... You're as bad as Murphy," Amanda interrupted with a laugh. "Nicky's almost thirty years old... he's getting married in September. He's not a kid."

Lee grimaced at the reminder of the passage of time. "They're all kids," he growled jokingly then turned back to Buddy. "Sorry. In any case, Nick's about as nice as they come. He grew up in Los Angeles... with his mom's family." Lee paused and shook his head ruefully. "Jake wasn't any nicer to Nicky's mother than he was to yours. After J.J. died, Rose didn't come back to the ranch until... " Lee scratched his head trying to remember. "I guess not until Murphy's wedding, and then it was only that one time. She's more than welcome there now of course. We all liked her, it was just Jake." He shook his head again, this time in disgust. "It was always Jake."

Buddy frowned. "What did he have against Nicky's mother?"

Lee shrugged. "I guess she didn't fit Jake's idea of the perfect wife for his son. She was smart for one thing, she had a mind of her own. She wanted to finish college and go on to medical school. Of course the fact that Rose's mother was Japanese didn't help much either."

Buddy straightened up suddenly. "And my mother was half Mexican. I take it Jake wanted a daughter-in-law who was blonde and blue-eyed."

"And never questioned anything her husband said," Amanda added.

"I'm not sure where he was going to find one of those," Lee stated with a teasing smile for Amanda, then continued. "Anyway, J.J. and Rose got married despite Uncle Jake's objections. I wasn't there, but the way I heard it, he certainly made the whole affair pretty miserable. J.J. went to Viet Nam only a few months later. Rose stayed with her dad in L.A. and that's where Nicky was raised."

"What's he do now?" Buddy inquired.

"He's a lawyer... a public defender."

Amanda caught the flicker of a grimace on Buddy's face. "What's wrong?" she asked in alarm.

Buddy glanced up quickly, guilty at being caught. "Nothing... really," he assured her. "Some things are just ingrained."

Amanda was confused but when she glanced up at Lee, she saw a look of understanding.

"Buddy's a police officer, Amanda," Lee reminded her. "They're not real friendly with defense attorneys as a rule."

"Don't get me wrong, Amanda," Buddy hastened to assuage her fears. "I'm sure Nicky's terrific. I've just had some bad experiences with public defenders. They're not usually..." He paused, his mouth twisting as he tried to find the right words.

"Tops in their field?" Lee supplied and Buddy nodded in agreement.

"You got it."

"Well, Nicky's not like that," Amanda countered defensively. "He graduated at the head of his class."

"I'm sorry," Buddy apologized. "I'll try not to form any opinions until I meet him."

Amanda was only slightly mollified. The last thing she wanted was to have Buddy think badly of Nick. "Well, when you do, you'll see what I mean. He's a great guy and he's really excited about meeting his long lost brother.

"He was the driving force behind all this, the one who insisted we look for you." Lee smiled in remembrance. "We all thought he was nuts."

"Nicky always knew we'd find you," Amanda added. "He never let us give up... any of us."

"How many of you were looking?" Buddy asked, a look of alarm flashing across his face.

"Oh, just about anyone with the last name of Michaels to start with," Lee laughed. "That's doesn't even count us, the Steele's, McCall..."

"Okay, okay... I get the picture." Buddy chuckled and came back to take his seat again. Amanda was glad to see that he'd finally relaxed. "I take it I have a rather large family."

"Now that's the real understatement of the year," Lee announced with a grin. "Besides your brother, you've got aunts, uncles and cousins coming out of the woodwork... well, actually only one first cousin... Scott. The rest of us are seconds I guess." Lee laughed. "I get the genealogy all mixed up, there's so many of us. It doesn't really matter though," he continued. "A cousin's a cousin."

As Lee enlightened Buddy about the family tree, Amanda marveled at how much at ease her husband had become. When they'd first met, he had acted like he had no relations in the world except for the Colonel. Even when circumstances had forced him to introduce her to the Michaels clan, Lee had still kept his distance from them... at least emotionally. It was a different story now and Amanda wondered just how much Lee's relationship with her and her family had changed his attitude about his own ties. Of course, now that she and Lee had children of their own, family had become a great priority in his life. She smiled to herself as Lee rattled off the list of names for Buddy to remember.

"And don't forget Cassie," she reminded Lee when he paused.

"Who's Cassie?" Buddy inquired curiously.

Lee sobered somewhat. "Jake's wife... your grandmother."

Buddy's face was blank for a moment then he glanced at Amanda. She nodded confirmation. "I guess I never even thought about Jake having a wife. I just assumed with him being dead and all... " Buddy turned back to Lee, his face serious. "Did she know what happened?"

Lee shook his head. "Not from what we can tell. I don't think she had any idea."

Buddy's eyes narrowed. "Haven't you asked her?"

Lee shifted uneasily. "Noooo..." he drawled slowly. He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his robe. He was definitely uncomfortable. Amanda jumped in to help him out.

"We didn't want to upset her until we knew for sure we were even going to find you," she explained. "It was pretty obvious from Jake's letter that he acted on his own... without telling anybody."

Now it was Buddy's turn to look uncomfortable. "So she doesn't know I exist," he stated in a quiet voice.

Amanda shook her head. "Not yet," she replied softly.

"I never had a grandmother," Buddy told them, a sad smile playing at his mouth. "Mike's folks died when he was a kid and my mom's parents were both gone before I was very old." He turned to regard Lee quizzically. "What's she like... my grandmother?"

Lee rubbed at his chin absently and Amanda knew this was going to be tough. "That's a hard one," Lee finally admitted. "Jake was always such a forceful presence... it was hard to see Aunt Cassie as separate from him. She was always kind of just there and always did whatever he decided."

"Be fair, Lee," Amanda admonished gently. "You weren't there all the time. You don't know her that well."

"That's true," Lee agreed. He turned to Buddy. "I'm probably the wrong one to be filling you in on all this. I've spent more time away than just about anyone. You'll just have to meet them all and decide for yourself."

"How do I do that?"

"Funny you should ask." Lee reached over to rummage through the papers on the desk. He pulled out what Amanda knew was an airline ticket and handed it to Buddy.

Buddy glanced at it then carefully opened it and scanned the contents. "What's all this?"

Lee smiled broadly. "That, Detective Capatosa, happens to be your round trip ticket on tomorrow's flight to Albuquerque, New Mexico. You are cordially invited to attend the annual Michaels' Family Reunion."

Buddy looked hesitant and Amanda was afraid he was going to refuse.

"You have to go," she insisted. "Everyone will be there and they all want to meet you... Nicky especially. When we told him we found you, he was ready to jump on a plane and come out here, but we told him to wait and see what you were going to do and..." She trailed off at the amazed look on Buddy's face. She glanced up at Lee, who was trying hard not to laugh, and she felt her face redden as she realized she'd been babbling. "I'm sorry. I try hard not to do that."

Lee pushed away from the dresser and moved over to sit beside her. He put a comforting arm across her shoulders then turned to address Buddy. "She only does that when she's excited," he explained. "You'll get used to it." He glanced back at Amanda and his face held a smile meant just for her. "It kind of grows on you after a while."

Amanda gave his hand a grateful squeeze then looked up at Buddy. "You really do need to come," she repeated earnestly. "It's the best way to meet everybody and Nicky really is anxious to meet you."

Buddy tapped the ticket voucher lightly against the desk top. He still looked uncertain. "I don't know. I'm pretty busy at work. Can I let you know?" he finally asked.

Amanda and Lee both nodded. Buddy got up to go and Lee rose as well to get him his coat. He reached the door without a word but then stopped and turned back. He had redonned his hat but under the low brim, his usually serious face finally lit with a smile and Amanda could see in her mind the picture of J.J., sitting in its place on the mantle at the ranch.

"I'll probably see you at the airport," he told them with a nod then slipped out the door.

It took a moment to sink in. Then Amanda jumped up to throw herself into Lee's arms enthusiastically.

"Oh, Lee! He's coming with us. Isn't that wonderful?"

"Now, Amanda... he said 'probably.' Remember that." But Lee was grinning as well.

Buddy lay back on his bed, his arms behind his head, and studied the ceiling. There were no answers there, but it was better than staring at the open suitcase anymore. He didn't know why he was having such a hard time making up his mind. Indecisiveness had never been a problem before.

Last night at the hotel, he'd pretty much decided to go. He had to admit he was more than a little curious to meet the people who'd worked so hard to find him... Nick especially. There was something special about brothers. He couldn't imagine what his life would be like without Rafie and Matt. They were his closest friends. Darnell too, even though he was so much younger and had come to them so recently... they hadn't had as much time to form the same kind of bond, but he was still their little brother.

Now, to find someone who was not only his brother but who was actually related to him... He supposed it was the kind of thing all adopted kids fantasized about... meeting long lost relations. In a way, it was a dream come true.

On the other hand, he hadn't exactly been lost... more like thrown away. He had to keep telling himself only one man was responsible for what had happened. He shouldn't judge the whole family because of Jake's machinations. The way Lee and Amanda talked, it sounded like they couldn't wait to welcome him with open arms.

So why was it he couldn't bring himself to finish packing? He glanced at his watch as he'd been doing every few minutes. It was three o'clock. If he laid around long enough, the choice would be made. Was that what he was waiting for? Was he just stalling so he would miss the plane? He finally gave in and turned to look at the suitcase. It was nearly full. It wouldn't take much time at all to throw the remaining items in and go. Why was he having such a hard time making himself move?

The sound of a buzzer startled him out of his mental debate. Both Matt and Rafie were at work and he wasn't expecting anyone. With what seemed a great effort, he got up and made his way out of the bedroom to see who was at his door.

It was his mother. As he let her in, Buddy decided he'd never been more glad to see anyone. For as long as he could remember, whenever he'd had problems, both Mike and Kitty had been there, ears and hearts wide open. But it also occurred to him that she shouldn't be looking for him here this time of day. As far as she knew, he was supposed to be working.

"Hey, Mom," he greeted as he gave her a welcome hug and a peck on the cheek. "What are you doing in this neck of the woods?"

Kitty Ragland fixed her son with a penetrating look. She had to crane her neck to do it, but she'd never let her son's size intimidate her.

"I came to make sure you caught your plane," she stated matter of factly, then headed off toward his bedroom.

Buddy stood and stared after her blankly for a moment. He hadn't told anybody about the trip. In fact, the only person who even knew what was going on was Mike. Of course, his father and mother never kept anything from each other. He didn't really mind if Mike had told Kitty what had happened, but he hadn't talked to anyone since last night. How could his mother know about going to New Mexico? He turned to follow after her.

"Mom... " he began but Kitty interrupted him.

"You haven't even finished packing," she declared with a disapproving shake of her head.

Buddy came up beside her. "I don't even know if I'm going yet," he explained defensively, feeling like he was a small boy and had disappointed her in some way.

Kitty planted her hands on her hips and looked up to face her son with a determined set to her features that Buddy knew all too well.

"Of course you're going," she informed him in a no-nonsense tone of voice. Then she relented and let a smile warm her next words. "You need to go, Son."

Buddy couldn't hold her gaze. He walked over to sit down on the side of his bed. "I don't know, Mom," he sighed. His eyes came to rest on the small family picture sitting on the nightstand. Impulsively he reached out and picked it up. "They're strangers, Mom, and I already have a family."

Kitty moved over to sit beside her son. She reached out to take his hand between her own. "We'll always be your family, Buddy," she told him fervently. "But you can reach out to these people too. You won't be abandoning us by doing that."

She'd hit the nail on the head. He suddenly realized that's exactly what he felt he was doing. Somehow this wonderful woman who'd raised him always knew what he was thinking. He glanced over at her and felt the sting of tears in his eyes. No matter what the circumstances of his birth were, Kitty Ragland was his mother in all the ways that mattered. He grabbed her in an affectionate embrace.

"I love you, Mom. Thanks.

She pulled out of his arms and patted the back of his hand. "I love you too, Son, but you'd better hurry up and finish packing or you'll miss your flight."

Buddy laughed lightly. "You don't ever give up, do you?"

Kitty shook her head and smiled. "Not when I know I'm right."

"Okay, okay... I guess I'm going," Buddy conceded, throwing his hands up in mock resignation. "Just tell me one thing, though."

"What's that?"

"How'd you know about the trip? I never told anybody."

Kitty's smile turned a bit smug. "You're not the only detective in the family. I haven't been married to a policemen all these years without knowing how to do a little snooping on my own. You left all that paperwork at our house so I just called up the hotel and talked to your friends."

Buddy shook his head in amazement.

"Well, I wanted to make sure they were on the up and up," Kitty went on. "I wasn't about to let anyone hurt one of my boys."

Buddy felt the pressure of those tears again. Not trusting his voice, he settled for reaching out to take his mother's hand. She squeezed it once and their eyes held for a moment. Nothing else was needed.

Lee glanced at his watch for what seemed the hundredth time since they'd boarded the big DC-10. There was still no sign of Buddy. He stole a glance over at Amanda across the aisle. He could tell by her nervous fussing with the kids that she was as anxious as he was. Every so often he caught her craning her neck at the steady stream of passengers making their way down the cramped aisle.

They hadn't heard from Buddy since he left their hotel room last night. There had been the call from his mother. Lee had fielded that with what he hoped was the right thing to do. He hadn't held anything back. She seemed to know most of the story anyway and Lee felt maybe it would help Buddy make his decision if he had a little support from the homefront. He and Amanda had done all they could in any case and they had their own family to think about.

The kids had been due at the airport about an hour before the flight to New Mexico. That was cutting it close, but it was the best their travel agent could do for them. Lee hadn't said anything to Amanda but he'd been a little apprehensive about Jenny and Matt flying without him. It was foolish, he knew. Phillip and Jamie were both very responsible and would look after their younger brother and sister. Lee supposed it was just fatherly nerves, but he knew he would breathe easier once they were all together again.

His worrying had been pointless. Phillip and Jamie showed up on time, Jenny and Matt in tow. The noisy greetings that followed, as hugs and stories were shared made the time pass quickly and soon their flight to Albuquerque had been called. Buddy hadn't arrived yet, but they boarded anyway. He had his own ticket and they needed to get the kids settled for the long flight.

Now though, it was nearly time for take off and still no sign of the Boston detective. No more passengers were boarding, leaving the aisle clear and Lee felt Amanda reach over and take hold of his hand.

"Do you think something happened to him?" she asked, concern evident in her eyes. "He said he'd be here."

Lee shook his head kindly. No matter how much he'd tried to caution her, he knew Amanda was counting on Buddy showing up. To be honest, he'd pretty much built his hopes up too.

"He said probably," he reminded her gently. "Maybe he decided not to come."

Amanda shook her head stubbornly. "He'll be here."

Lee smiled at her determination. It was part of what he loved so much about her. She never gave up on people. "I hope you're right," he told her but further conversation was interrupted as four-year old Matthew suddenly decided he wanted to change seats.

"I hafta sit by Daddy," he pleaded, already out of his seat belt and standing up beside Amanda. "Please, Mommy," he entreated, his blue eyes wide with hope.

Amanda glanced over at Lee for his opinion. He supposed it didn't really matter. The seat beside him was empty. It should have been Buddy's but was as yet unclaimed. Lee nodded his permission and the next few moments were spent making the awkward transfer across the aisle. Finally Matt climbed over Lee's long legs and settled happily in the new seat. He beamed contentedly up at Lee who smiled down at his son and tousled his head of brown hair.

"You can't keep trading back and forth," he warned, trying his best to be stern.

"I won't," Matt promised, busy buckling himself in.

"I wanna thit by Daddy too," Lee heard Jenny whine. He saw that she too had risen and come over to stand next to her mother.

"There aren't enough seats, Sweetheart," Amanda explained patiently. "You get to stay here with me and Phillip and Jamie."

Jenny didn't appear very happy so Lee leaned over as far as he could and reached out a hand to tweak one of her golden curls.

"How 'bout we trade off," he suggested. "Matt sits here first then you can when we change planes in Dallas."

She thought it over for a moment then smiled brightly. "Okay," she agreed, appeased with the arrangement. She sat back down between her older brothers.

That settled, Lee leaned back, closed his eyes and sighed. Sometimes he wished children came with owners' manuals. He still found it hard to believe that he even had kids. Ten years ago he would have laughed in anyone's face who told him he would be settled down as a husband and father. So many things had changed in his life, all for the better, and he knew he owed it all to Amanda. He hated to think what he'd be like right now if she hadn't come into his life.

Someone bumped his elbow as they came down the aisle and Lee sat up. It was only when he opened his eyes again that he happened to glance up at the front of the plane. The flow of passengers had stopped some time ago. In fact, the crew was preparing to close the door when they suddenly stopped and opened it outward again to let one last person on board.

Lee felt a ridiculous grin start on his face. There was no mistaking that long coat and low brimmed hat. Leave it to a Michaels to make a dramatic entrance. As the attendant checked his boarding pass, Buddy glanced up, looked around for a moment then caught Lee's eye. He smiled self-consciously. The door shut behind him and the whine of the engines increased in pitch as he started down the aisle.

Amanda's sudden intake of breath told Lee she'd seen Buddy as well.

"I told you he'd be here," she reminded him, unable to keep from gloating a little. Lee didn't mind. This meant so much to her... to himself as well. Nothing really mattered now except for the fact that Buddy had decided to come... he was willing to meet his family.

Murphy hung up the phone and turned to meet the eager faces. Nearly everyone he cared about in the world was here in this room, waiting to hear his next few words.

"They're on their way," he announced calmly. "Lee just called from the plane." He paused for a moment, unable to resist the drama.

"Murphy!" Nick rose from where he sat beside his fiance, Yvette. He looked ready to strangle his cousin. "Come on! The suspense is killing us."

Murphy smiled. "Buddy's with them."

For a moment there was nothing but silence in the room. Then Nick let out a tremendous whoop of glee and caught Murphy up in a grateful bear hug. Instantly the rest of the group started cheering and laughing. Nick left Murphy to repeat his performance with his mother, nearly taking Rose's breath away in his enthusiasm. Then he found Yvette and hugged her as well.

Murphy folded his arms and leaned against the desk, content to watch the noisy celebration from a distance. After a moment he felt someone slip a hand through the crook of his arm. He didn't have to turn to know Sherry's touch.

"I guess things turned out pretty well," she commented softly.

Murphy nodded. "It sure looks that way."

Sherry reached with her hand to gently turn his face. He could see concern in her eyes.

"You still don't think we did the right thing?" she asked.

"No, no," Murphy assured her. "It seems we did the very best thing. I'm glad it turned out this way for Nicky. I was just afraid... " He paused then smiled down at her. "Never mind. I don't want to be a wet blanket anymore."

"You were never a wet blanket," Sherry contradicted. "I know what you were worried about. You were afraid of wrecking a complete stranger's life and of disappointing Nicky. That's not being a wet blanket... that's called caring."

Murphy wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. "Is that your professional opinion?" he asked.

Sherry nodded emphatically. "You bet. And you know what my fee is." Her eyes twinkled at their standing joke.

"Can I pay you later?" Murphy asked. He raised his eyebrows suggestively then laughed and kissed the top of her blonde head.

"If you aren't concerned about finding Buddy anymore, then what's wrong?" Sherry had grown serious again.

Murphy studied his wife's face. After eleven years of marriage she knew him so well it was scary sometimes.

"I was just thinking about Aunt Cassie," he told her in a low voice. "Now that we know Buddy's coming, somebody's going to have to tell her."

Sherry nodded slowly. "You're right. I certainly don't envy that person the job."

"Who do you think it should be?" he asked, willing now for her to assume her role as psychologist.

Sherry's face turned thoughtful as she considered the question. "That's hard. It's got to be just the right person or she might take it as an attack on Jake's memory. It's only been a year since he died. She's probably not really over things yet."

Murphy chewed a thumbnail absently. He couldn't think of anyone she was close to. "Nick and Rose are out," he said, stating the obvious. "Maybe Scott. He's her grandson. He's never been at odds with her or Uncle Jake."

Sherry shook her head. "His father was, though. And I think he's too young anyway. No, this probably would be better coming from someone more objective... someone who didn't grow up around Jake."

Murphy couldn't keep the smile off his face at his wife's attempt to be diplomatic. "You mean somebody who didn't hate him."

Sherry jabbed his ribs softly. "I didn't say that," she protested innocently.

"No, but that's what it comes down to." Murphy let his eyes sweep around the room. "That lets just about everybody out except maybe... " His eyes narrowed and he let his smile broaden. He'd just spied Caitlin giving Nicky a big hug of congratulations. He caught Sherry's eye and nodded in Cait's direction. "What do you think?"

Sherry nodded slowly. "She just might be the one. She never fought with Jake that I know of."

"I think he actually liked her," Murphy added. "Strange as that seems, considering she's Andy's wife."

"I guess we better have a pow-wow about this. Let's gather the troops."

When the captain announced they were on final approach to Albuquerque, Buddy felt something he hadn't experienced since he was a teenager on his first date... butterflies in his stomach. As a veteran police officer who'd faced more than his share of low-lifes and hoods without batting an eye, it was more than a little unsettling.

The flight from Boston had been long but interesting, as Amanda tried to fill him in on what Michaels' history she knew. It was skimpy, to say the least. She kept reminding him she was only related by marriage and Lee wasn't exactly the best source for information, having been raised away from his relatives for most of his life.

Watching Lee and Amanda and their kids was also an interesting diversion. Amanda was obviously an old hand at dealing with children. She handled most of the antics of the two youngest of her offspring with a casual mix of love and patience. The two older boys, both of whom Buddy guessed were college age, seemed to alternate between being entertained and exasperated by their younger siblings. Then there was Lee. Buddy knew he was newer at parenting than Amanda, but he seemed to be coping quite well. Only once in a while did he look at all flustered, and then only momentarily. Most of the time it was obvious that fatherhood agreed with him. During the long trip Buddy decided that if the rest of his relatives were anything like the Stetsons, he would like being related to them.

Now though, they were nearly there. Only a few more minutes and he would come face to face with a brother he never knew he had, as well as countless other relatives. He didn't know how many of them would actually be at the airport. Only a few, he hoped. That way he could meet people gradually. He wasn't a naturally gregarious person. It always took him a while to get to know someone. He hoped he wasn't going to be thrown into a huge crowd of strangers.

The plane touched down with a bump and Buddy felt the slight pressure as the big craft rapidly decelerated. He kept telling himself to keep calm, but it was hard as they pulled up to the gate and everyone began gathering their carry-on items. He stood up to allow Amanda room to maneuver. She tried to keep a hand on Jennifer, as well as organize Phillip and Jamie as baggage carriers. Lee had come over from across the aisle to carry his sleeping son.

It seemed to take forever to get the door open, but finally people began to deplane. Slowly the crowd filed down the aisle until at last it had cleared and it was their turn. Buddy let Amanda and the boys precede him. He was willing to let Lee go ahead as well, but his cousin took his arm and propelled him forward, bringing up the rear of their procession himself.

"Don't worry," Lee told him as they slowly made their way down the aisle. "I told Murphy to keep the numbers down. There won't be a mob out there."

Buddy glanced over his shoulder to give Lee a grateful smile. "Thanks," he shot back. "I'm not sure I could handle that right now."

At last they reached the exit and emerged into the ramp way. It was less crowded and they could walk together as they headed for the terminal door. It seemed at the same time the longest and the shortest walk Buddy had ever taken. When they finally made it to the end, he did pause and let Amanda and the kids go first. Lee, still holding little Matt, stayed beside him and together they walked through the door. Almost unconsciously, Buddy stopped.

There were very few people left waiting. Most of the other passengers had gone ahead of their group. Buddy saw Jennifer pull away from her mother and rush to noisily greet a tall man with sandy blond hair who lifted her up into his arms and kissed her cheek. Buddy recognized him from the Aspen case. It was Murphy. Standing beside him was a small, blonde woman. Buddy could only assume it was his wife.

Beside them, Buddy saw Nick. He recognized his half-brother from the pictures Lee and Amanda had showed him but it was different seeing him alive and breathing and standing right in front of him. Buddy's policeman's instincts automatically took in Nicky's appearance. He wasn't very tall, maybe five-ten, though from his slightly stocky build it was obvious he worked out and took care of himself. His hair was a reddish shade of brown and worn slightly longer than Buddy would have expected for a lawyer. There was only a slight trace of Japanese heritage in his eyes. His face was pleasant and the smile there looked natural, like it was used to being there.

Standing next to Nick and holding his hand was an attractive woman with long, blonde hair and compelling blue eyes. This must be his fiance, Yvette. She was smiling as well. They looked good together and Buddy made a mental note to congratulate his brother on his good taste. On Nick's other side stood a young man about the same age, with longish blond hair, the color of straw. He was taller than Nicky by a few inches and his face was more subdued.

There were two more people in the waiting group. They stood behind the younger ones, as if letting them have the center of attention. One was an older man, somewhere around sixty, with close cropped white hair and wearing a pair of dark rimmed glasses. He had his arm around the shoulder of the woman standing beside him.

This had to be Rose. She was still a handsome woman even though she must be at least fifty years old. Her thick black hair showed no trace of silver and was pulled back into a long pony tail. Buddy wondered about her... about how this must be affecting her. He really had no idea what she was like. All he knew was that she was a doctor and that she'd been married to his father... a man who'd died only a few months into their marriage. He wondered if knowing about him was upsetting to her. He hoped not. Standing here looking at her as she waited to meet him, Buddy sincerely hoped not.

He felt Lee prodding him slightly and he moved forward again. Nick started towards them as well, his smile growing into a broad grin. He stretched out his hand in greeting as he approached. Buddy took it and they clasped hands firmly for a long moment. Then they both broke the contact and stood facing each other. It might have been an awkward moment but Nick suddenly laughed self-consciously.

"Whaddya know... I've been waiting all this time to find you and now I don't know what to say. Who'd ever think a lawyer'd be caught speechless?"

"Not me, that's for sure." Buddy smiled. The words had come easily and he felt more relaxed now after the initial tension.

"Just so this gets done formally," Lee piped in, "let me do the honors. Buddy, this is Nicholas Michaels, attorney at law. Nicky, this is Detective Sergeant Buddy Capatosa of the Boston Police Department. You guys can take it from here." With that, he tactfully bowed out and wandered over to where Amanda and the rest of the kids were standing and engaged in his own round of welcomes.

"Okay, Big Brother," Nick began. "Let me start the introductions." He reached a hand up to rest on Buddy's shoulder and steered him towards the others.

Buddy followed his lead, no longer anxious. Nick had managed to put him at ease.

"First of all... " Nicky took Yvette's hand and brought it to his lips. "You need to meet your future sister-in-law. This is Yvette Marcel, probably the best prosecuting attorney in the state."

"Nick... " Yvette flushed at his praise then reached out to shake Buddy's hand. "I'm so happy to meet you," she told him, her voice warm and pleasant.

"A prosecutor and a defense attorney... " Buddy shook his head in amazement. "I sure hope you never end up working on the same case."

Nicky's eyebrows shot up and his face took on a look of long suffering. "Don't even start. It's more than my poor ego can handle to think about my fiance beating the pants off me in court." Then he laughed again and reached over to kiss Yvette. "I don't think they'd ever let us do that." He turned in the direction of the other young man.

"And this is your one and only first cousin in the world. Scott McCall... otherwise known as Fingers."

Buddy had been reaching out to shake Scott's hand but stopped at Nick's words. "Fingers?" he asked.

Scott casually punched Nick's arm. "He's too excited. He can't stop his mouth. It's great to finally meet you, Buddy."

"Scotty here plays first fiddle with the L.A. Philharmonic."

Now it was Buddy's turn to raise his eyebrows. He abruptly loosened the grasp he had on Scott's hand.

"They won't break," Scott laughed. "And it's second fiddle anyway."

"Okay, who's next?" Nick maneuvered them over to Murphy and Buddy realized he was saving his mother for last. "Here we are. You've already met Murphy, I guess."

"It was quite a while ago," Murphy replied as they shook hands. "This is my wife, Sherry."

"We're so glad you decided to come," Sherry told him warmly. "We all want you to feel welcome."

"Thanks." Buddy smiled his appreciation. "I already do."

"And over here... " Nick now turned him to face the last two members of the welcoming committee and for some reason Buddy felt some of his nervousness returning. "Here we have Scott and Yvette's dad, our uncle, Robert McCall."

Buddy had reached out to shake the offered hand when he glanced over at Nick, suddenly alarmed at the implications. He leaned over to mutter to his brother in a low voice. "Doesn't that make Yvette our cousin?"

"Different mothers," Nick shot back out of the corner of his mouth. "Long story... tell you later."

Willing to take Nick on faith, Buddy completed the handshake. "Nice to meet you, Uncle Robert."

The man waved the title aside. "Please... call me Robert, or McCall. I find being the uncle of grown men just a bit disconcerting."

"Okay," Buddy agreed amiably. "McCall it is." He found he instantly liked this man. There was something about him that demanded respect. In that way, he reminded Buddy of Mike.

"And saving the best for last... " Nick drew himself up a little taller and Buddy could plainly see the love and admiration he had for his mother. "This is Dr. Rose Michaels, my mother. Mom, this is Buddy Capatosa... my new brother."

Rose's eyes were intense as she studied him for a long moment but Buddy saw no resentment there. The smile that appeared on her face was genuine. She reached out and took both his hands in hers and when she spoke, her voice was full of kindness and acceptance.

"You don't know how much it means to us to have you here."

Buddy knew at once she was sincere and whatever misgivings he had left, melted away. He remembered what Lee had told him about how Jake had treated Rose and Buddy abruptly felt an affinity with her. She'd had it so much worse than himself. At least he'd grown up in a happy home, without knowing what had happened to his mother. Rose had endured Jake's ill-treatment and had also had to bear the loss of her husband. He suddenly felt the need to apologize to her.

"I'm sorry... " he began but Rose shook her head firmly, as if reading his thoughts.

"Don't. None of this was your fault. You don't have anything to feel badly about."

Buddy felt at a loss for words. How could he explain what he was feeling at this moment. "I know," he agreed. "It's just that... I know this must be difficult for you." He'd seen the unshed tears when she looked at him.

Rose wiped absently at her eyes and smiled. "I'm just being sentimental." She gazed at him fondly. "You're quite a bit like your father."

Buddy nodded. "I've seen his picture."

"I'm talking about more than looks," Rose told him. "Your voice, your manners... it's really uncanny."

"I'd like to know something about him," Buddy said softly. "If it wouldn't bother you."

Rose laughed lightly. "Of course not. I love to talk about Jake... my Jake, that is, even after all these years."

"That sounds like a great idea, Mom," Nick interrupted. "But why don't we move this party back to the ranch." He turned to Buddy. "There's only about a million more people waiting to meet you."

With that, they began a general exodus. First, they stopped by baggage claim, then they filed out to the parking lot, where they divided up into several cars for the ride out to Glorieta. Buddy ended up in a van with Nicky, Yvette, Scott, Rose and McCall. For the next ninety minutes he learned a lot about his new family. Only once, when there was a lull in the conversation and he sat staring into the dark night, did he think about home... about Mike and Kitty... and Rafie, Matt and Darnell. His mother had been right all the time. He'd thought coming out here would be betraying them and the home they'd created, but he was wrong. Here with these people who were nearly strangers, he'd never felt closer to those he loved.

Caitlin O'Connor Travis was definitely nervous. She wondered again how she'd wound up with this job. Sherry and Murphy had been so convincing at the ranch. They'd made it seem so logical that she be the one to come here. They were right, she had been on somewhat friendly terms with Jake. For some reason he'd taken a liking to her. He'd never been rude or mean to her, although she knew all too well what he could be like. Now though, sitting in Cassie's living room, waiting for the tea the woman was preparing, Caitlin wanted nothing more than to get up and run out the door.

Needing to do something, she stood up and walked over to study the pictures on the walls. After Jake had died, his wife hadn't wanted to stay on at the ranch. She'd taken a small apartment in town. There wasn't much room for displaying mementos, but Cassie had managed to hang as many as she could. There were many there of Scott in all stages of growth, along with photos of Jake and both of their children. It was sad, Cait realized, that this woman had outlived nearly everyone she loved.

The ones that surprised her were the pictures of Nicky. She knew the history. There hadn't been much contact between them, and Nick hadn't started coming to the reunions until Murphy's wedding. By then he was nearly twenty years old. For Cassie to be hanging baby and school photos seemed strange. But then she noticed all the frames were new and it struck her suddenly. Rose must have sent the pictures to Cassie all through the years and it was only now, with Jake gone, that the woman found the courage to display them.

Caitlin wondered how many other things Cassie might have done if Jake hadn't been so domineering. Maybe everyone's opinion of Cassie herself needed to be altered. She'd always gone along with her husband on everything he said or did. Naturally everyone assumed she agreed with him. Maybe that hadn't always been the case.

"Here we are," Cassie announced and came through the doorway, a small, white-haired figure carrying a silver tray laden with tea and cookies.

"Let me help you," Caitlin offered, reaching to take the elderly woman's burden but Cassie shooed her away.

"Nonsense, dear. I can manage fine." She set the tray down on the table and motioned for Cait to sit and help herself. "It isn't often that I get a visitor. I always loved entertaining."

They ate and drank for a few moments and Caitlin could tell that the woman was enjoying herself immensely. It was the first time Cait could ever remember seeing a smile on Cassie's face. She'd always seemed so serious before.

"So, dear," Cassie began. "How's everything up on the mountain? Are you enjoying yourself at the ranch?"

"We certainly are," Cait replied enthusiastically. "It's wonderful and the kids just love it. You know, it's such a big place, there's always room for you if you ever want to come back."

Cassie shook her head emphatically. "Heaven's no. That isn't my home anymore. It was always Jake's ranch anyway... his dream." She sighed and then smiled. "This is my own place now and I love it here. I do what I want, when I want. But enough about me." She leaned toward Cait and gave her a scrutinizing look. "The reunion must be going on right about now. I know how much work that is. You didn't come all the way down here just to chit-chat."

Cait shook her head guiltily. "Not really. I... I needed to talk with you."

"I'm all ears, dear. My hearing's still one hundred percent."

The moment was here. Cait couldn't put it off any longer. She'd rehearsed so many different ways of saying it but now it was hard to find the right words. She took a deep breath and plunged ahead.

"Cassie... do you remember much about the time when J.J. left for West Point?"

Cassie set her tea down carefully then turned to face Caitlin, puzzlement evident on her face.

"Of course I do." She smiled as she recalled the time. "He was so proud. So was I." The smile left her face abruptly. "Jake, of course, was fit to be tied." She peered again at Cait. "Why do you ask?"

"Do you remember a friend of J.J.'s... a girl named Maria Torres?"

Cassie thought for a moment then her face brightened. "Sure I do. Nice girl. She and J.J. dated for a while then he went to school and she left town. Never did see her after that."

"Did you ever hear where she went or what she did?"

Cassie shook her head slowly. "No. But then we weren't friends with her folks or anything. I guess I never gave her much thought after she was gone. Why?"

Caitlin took another deep breath and reached into her purse to pull out the letter. "Last year, when Andy and I first moved to the ranch, I was sorting through the stuff in the attic. I found a box that must've been Jake's." She stared at the yellowed paper for a moment then handed it to Cassie. "We found this."

Cassie reached out a weathered hand to take the letter. She pushed her glasses up on her nose and held the paper up to the light to read it. It didn't take long. Her hand suddenly fell into her lap, crushing the letter against her leg. Her face had gone from curious to disbelieving to stricken.

"No, no, no... not this," she whispered in a voice Cait could barely hear. She clutched the letter to her bosom. "Why, Jake, why?"

Caitlin felt terrible. The woman before her, though in her seventies, had been strong and capable. Now she seemed frail and helpless. She reached out to lay a hand on Cassie's arm.

"I'm so sorry," she began. "There was no other way to tell you."

Cassie shook her head. "It's not your fault, dear."

She got up slowly and took the few steps over to the wall where Caitlin had been before. She stood there in silence for a long while, staring at the pictures. Cait finally got up herself and came over to the woman's side.

"I wish I could've made it easier."

Cassie glanced over at her and Cait could see tears on her cheeks. "I should've known something was wrong," she whispered.

"How could you have known?" Caitlin asked. "You can't go blaming yourself."

Cassie shook her head. "She tried to tell me. I didn't know it then, of course. But I remember... right after J.J. left for school... she came to the ranch and wanted to talk to me." She paused for a moment, deep in thought, then she continued. "We were planning Kay's wedding. That's all I had in my head. I brushed poor Maria off... told her I was too busy. That must've been when she went to Jake." She paused again and put her hand to her breast. "God, how desperate she must've been to go to Jake."

Cait took Cassie's arm and led the woman back to her chair and poured her a fresh cup of tea. She let her collect herself for few minutes before she asked her anything else. Then she spoke what was most on her mind.

"Cassie... why would Jake do that? It seems so... "

"So hateful?" Cassie supplied. Cait shrugged self-consciously but Cassie smiled ruefully. "Don't worry. You can't hurt my feelings. I'm well aware of my late husband's failings. I know most of the family's opinions of him and I guess for the most part they were right. But they didn't know him like I did... not even his brothers and sisters. I suppose the only other person who knew the real Jake Michaels was his mother. She was usually able to keep him in line. I never could. I guess I lacked the courage to stand up to him."

Cait frowned in confusion. "Were you really afraid of him?" she asked softly. "Why did you stay with him?"

Cassie's face was thoughtful; her eyes held a far away expression. "I loved him," she stated simply. "It never crossed my mind to leave him." She drew herself back to the present and turned to Cait. "He wasn't always the way you knew him... not when I met him." She smiled faintly. "The Jake Michaels I fell in love with was still pig-headed but he was never mean-spirited."

Cait was intrigued. She'd known this woman for nearly seven years and had never talked to her like this before.

"What changed him?" she inquired curiously.

Now Cassie's face grew reflective as she pondered her life with Jake. "Oh... so many things. He had so many plans and it seemed nothing ever turned out the way he wanted it. We wanted a big family and I had so much trouble carrying both the children. I had three miscarriages after Kay was born. The doctor told me not to try anymore. By that time Jake had built the ranch so big, wanting to fill it, you know, with lots of kids. It was a terrible disappointment to him. And then he never could quite make the ranch pay. He always had to work in town as well. That's why he had his parents come and live with us. He needed his father to help him run the place. That was a big blow to his pride too. I think that's why he became so spiteful towards his sisters. Their lives all seemed so perfect to him."

"People always think everybody else has it better than they do," Caitlin interjected. "We can't always see that other people have problems too."

Cassie nodded. "I'm sure you're right, dear. But like I told you, Jake was so pig-headed. He let the problems turn him bitter. And then there was the war... World War II, that is... it probably did the most damage." She glanced over at Cait. "Did you know he spent two years in a Japanese prison camp?"

Cait shook her head and wondered why no one had ever told her, but Uncle Jake wasn't exactly anyone's favorite topic of conversation.

"I'm not surprised," Cassie continued. "It was such an awful time for him. Nobody ever wanted to bring it up in front of him. I'm certain that's why he was so terrible to poor Rose. He never could bring himself to forget what they did to him there. I guess seeing anybody who was Japanese brought it all back to him. Course, I'm not excusing his behavior. He certainly caused enough pain himself. But every time he'd do something dreadful, part of me would ache for the man he used to be."

She heaved a sigh and glanced again at the letter in her hand, temporarily forgotten. Her face again grew pained. "But to do this... to cast aside that poor girl... and our own grandchild. I don't know if I can forgive him for that... because I don't know what happened to that child and every time I wonder, I'll remember what Jake did."

Cait grasped the older woman's hand tightly, trying to keep from grinning like an idiot. "But, Cassie... that's why I'm here. I wouldn't have come all the way out here just to bring you this kind of news if something good wasn't coming out of it."

"What are you saying, dear?" Cassie asked in bewilderment.

"We found him, Cassie... he's at the ranch. The first thing Nicky did when he read the letter was to start searching and heaven knows, we have enough of that kind of talent in this family."

Cassie's face was dumbfounded for a moment and she gripped Cait's hand tightly. Then she let go and looked away.

"Does he know what Jake did?"

Caitlin nodded. "Of course... we had to tell him... but he still wanted to meet his family."

"But he won't want to see me... how can he want to see me?"

"You didn't do anything," Cait protested. "He doesn't hold you responsible. He just wants to meet his grandmother."

Cassie turned hopeful, tear-filled eyes to face Cait. "I would love to see him... to talk to him. I have so little family left... just Scott and Nicky... and they're usually so far away. Tell him... if he would like to... tell him I would love for him to come see me."

Cait felt tears of her own starting to well up and made a vow to come and see this lonely woman more often herself. "I'll tell him. I'm sure he'll come."

Cassie smiled. "Tell me, dear... what's his name?"

Cait returned the smile. "Buddy... his name's Buddy and he looks just like J.J."

Cassie leaned back in her chair and lapsed into a thoughtful silence. She hadn't let go of Caitlin's hand though, so Cait sat where she was, content to remain there for however long Cassie needed her.

The morning sunlight streaming through the windows, along with the crowing of a very loud rooster, roused Buddy from sleep. He stretched and hit both ends of the bunk, surprised that he'd spent a fairly comfortable night. He'd been dubious about fitting into it's small frame but he'd managed to sleep undisturbed until now. Glancing around the room, he noticed most of the rest of the beds in the bunkhouse were still occupied. It was probably still early but he was running on eastern time. He quietly rolled out of bed and found his way to the bathroom. In a few minutes he was dressed and outside.

It was already dark when they'd arrived last night and he'd had no chance to appreciate the beauty of this place. Now, as he wandered over towards the big, red barn, he took in the scenic splendor. Beyond the barn lay an expansive meadow, where he could see quite a few horses already grazing for breakfast. A stand of trees ran along the edge of the pasture and formed a boundary line between the ranch and the hills beyond. Just past the foothills, the mountains loomed up majestically. With the sun just topping the peaks, it was a breathtaking sight. Buddy leaned his elbows atop the white fence rail and heaved a deep, peaceful sigh of contentment.

"The place affects everybody like that."

Buddy turned and saw Nick walking up behind him. His half-brother came and leaned against the fence beside him, that perpetual grin still on his face.

"It's pretty," Buddy agreed. "You don't live here though?"

"'Fraid not." Nick shook his head regretfully. "This place was off limits to me for so long... I guess my roots are pretty much in L.A. But I do keep tabs on what's going on." He pointed behind them to where Buddy could see a large building under construction. "That's the new bunkhouse. Andy's finally turned this place around and making it pay. Grandpa Jake was never able to keep it out of the red. He'd probably flip out if he knew Andy was running things, let alone turning it into a guest ranch."

Buddy remained silent. He hadn't picked up on all the politics yet. He figured he'd learn everything soon enough.

Nick turned and leaned his back against the rail. "You know, you have a piece of all this."

Buddy's eyes narrowed a bit as he regarded his brother curiously. "What do you mean?"

Nick waved an arm at their surroundings. "This... the ranch. Grandpa Jake left it to his grandsons."

"But he... "

Nick cut off his protest. "Let me finish. When the letter came to light and we knew you were out there somewhere... Scott and I talked. We decided it was only fair that if Jake had another grandchild, that person was entitled to his fair share."

"Nicky, I can't just come in here and demand... "

"You're not doing that," Nick informed him flatly. "It's already decided. Of course, it's all just a technicality anyway." He smiled again. "We gave Andy a free hand to do what he wants. Neither Scott nor I had much interest in managing a ranch. I just wanted to let you know you're a part of everything."

Buddy didn't know what to say. There was a long silence, but it wasn't an awkward one. He felt at ease around Nick. He did feel like he was a part of this.

"Thanks for looking for me," he said quietly. "You didn't have to."

Nick's eyes opened wide in disbelief. "Are you kidding? I'm an only child. It was like a lifelong dream to suddenly find out I have a brother. I had to find you."

"Well I'm glad you felt that way. I mean, it was a little bit startling at first, but if you guys hadn't found me, I would've spent my whole life believing a lie. Now at least I know the truth."

Nick smiled warmly. "And now I have a big brother." His smile turned into a mischievous grin. "Just don't try to boss me around, okay?"

Buddy laughed, suddenly feeling more than anything like he was back home. How many times had Rafie and Matt both griped at him for being over-protective and bossy.

"You should come to Boston," Buddy offered impulsively. "I think you'd like Rafie and Matt and Darnell."

Nick gave him a quizzical look. "If they're your brothers, doesn't that make them my brothers too?"

Buddy laughed. "I guess it does. Anyway, you'll love 'em. Rafie and Matt argue a lot over who gets the most girls but you get used to them. They're great guys... Darnell too. Mom and Dad brought him home last year but it seems like he's always been a part of us."

"It must've been fun growing up with all those brothers," Nick observed. "I always wondered what it would be like to have one. There were so many girls at our house. Did your dad do a lot of things with you guys?"

Buddy nodded emphatically. "He was always taking us on some outing... teaching us some new thing. Rock climbing... skiing... camping..." He paused and glanced over at Nick. His face was a touch sober and he remembered that Nicky had grown up without a father. "Hey, I'm sorry. I'm just rattling on."

"Naw, that's okay." Nick's smile returned. "I mean... I had Grandpa Nick... and Jeffers and Allie were never far away. I wasn't deprived or anything." He flushed embarrassedly. "Maybe it's just because you look so damn much like the pictures of Dad. I just started wondering what it would've been like if he'd been around."

"Yeah, well... you're not alone. Being adopted... even when your folks are great... you still wonder sometimes. Who were my real parents? What were they like? For a while I thought I knew all that. It wasn't too great, but I'd accepted it. Then all of a sudden, here comes Lee and Amanda and... bang! All the wondering started over again."

"Are you angry about it?" Nick's voice was quiet.

Buddy shook his head. "Nope. I was a little at first, I guess... not anymore. There's really nobody left to be mad at. It'd be kind of a waste."

"I'm glad because there's still one more person who wants to meet you."

Buddy knew at once. "Our grandmother? Lee said she didn't know about me."

Nick nodded. "Cait went and visited her yesterday after we found out you'd decided to come. She told her everything. I guess she was pretty upset over what Grandpa Jake did. Cait said it would mean a lot to her if you could go and see her."

Buddy stared out at the mountains in silence. For some reason, this seemed to be the hardest thing yet.

"Scott and I will go with you," Nick offered.

Buddy turned to his brother. What had Nick said before... about being a part of everything. If he hadn't felt that way before, he certainly did now.

"Thanks," he said simply.

A tremendous clanging suddenly put an end to any further discussion. Startled, Buddy clutched his ears and saw Nicky laughing at his reaction.

"That's just Aunt Katie telling everybody to drag their butts out of bed and come and eat breakfast."

Buddy laughed as his stomach joined in the clamor, letting him know the bell was right on time.

Buddy couldn't remember the last time he'd been so nervous. Even the anxiety he'd felt on the plane was nothing compared to this. At least then he knew that the people he was about to meet had wanted to get to know him. In fact, they'd spent nearly a year of hard work searching for him. This meeting was something totally different.

Even though he'd never met his grandfather, Buddy had developed certain opinions of the man. These were based, of course, on his own sense of moral outrage at what Jake Michaels had done so matter of factly. There had also been plenty of stories told to him at the ranch of other instances involving his grandfather, all of which tended to color Buddy's feelings. None of his relatives had much good to say about their deceased brother and uncle, although his siblings tended to talk less about it than the younger members of the family.

Now Buddy was about to meet his grandmother... Jake's wife. Although Caitlin had taken him aside before they left and warned him about making too many assumptions, he still couldn't help feeling like Daniel about to walk into the lion's den. It helped a little that he wasn't alone. Scott and Nick flanked him on either side but he still had to wipe his sweaty palms on the sides of his pants before he reached out to ring the bell.

"It'll be okay," Scott whispered encouragingly. "Grandma's not bad. You'll see."

Buddy felt his face go red at being so obviously uneasy. He jammed his hands into the back pockets of his jeans. Neither of his companions could possibly know just how hard this was for him. Rafie and Matt would. The three of them knew each other so well they could practically tell what the other was thinking. That wasn't really fair to Nick or Scott. There just hadn't been enough time yet... not enough shared, but he couldn't help wishing Kitty was here. She always knew the right thing to say.

He could hear approaching footsteps and he felt his heart beating rapidly. Then the door opened and he nearly laughed out loud at all his foolish fears. The woman he'd been so worried about meeting stood there, all five feet of her. Her snow white hair was pulled back into a tight bun. Her face bore the wrinkles of her seventy plus years and she looked as if the slightest wind might blow her away. It was her eyes though, that drew Buddy's attention. Still clear and blue, they gazed upon his face as she regarded him in wonder.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd swear J.J. was alive and standing here in front of me." Her voice was soft but strong.

"This is Buddy, Grandma," Nick introduced.

"Of course it is," she scolded good-naturedly. "Who else would it be?" She reached out to take his hand and a smile lit her face. "Oh, my boys, I'm so glad you came. Come on in, come on in."

Buddy followed her into a small living room. Scott and Nick trailed after. When she got them all settled, she insisted on getting them some sandwiches and lemonade.

"I'll just be a minute," she told them, then hurried off to the kitchen.

Nick shook his head ruefully. "She still thinks we're ten years old."

Scott made a guffawing sound. "Everybody in this family does. I swear, when I'm ninety, Lee and Murphy'll still be calling me kid."

Buddy chuckled at that familiar sounding complaint. Matt used to gripe about that same thing all the time. Some things were universal, he supposed.

Spying the pictures on the wall, he got up from the sofa and wandered over to study them. There were many of Scott and Nick, several of J.J. and a woman Buddy assumed was Scott's mother. Then there was one of Jake himself. Buddy studied his grandfather intently. The face that stared back at him was stern, even in the photo, as if he wasn't happy about having the picture taken. From everything Buddy'd been told about Jake Michaels, there didn't seem to be anything that ever made him happy.

"I like this one better, myself."

Buddy turned and saw Cassie standing beside him. She was pointing to a smaller picture, framed in gold. Buddy glanced up at that one and saw an old black and white photo of a couple in wedding attire. It was obviously his grandparents, though he wouldn't have recognized them without being told. They looked happy together... even Jake looked happy.

"That's nice," he commented. "How long were you married?"

"Not quite fifty-four years," she answered and when Buddy gave a low whistle, Cassie laughed at his amazement. "I know. It seems like a long time to you young folk. Not many people stay married more than a few years any more."

"My mom and dad have," Buddy offered. "They've been together for nearly forty years... " He stopped as he remembered where he was. "Well... I mean my adopted folks... I... " He stumbled over his words self-consciously until Cassie laid a kindly hand on his arm.

"It's all right, boy. You don't have to watch what you say around me. Those people raised you and they deserve your loyalty. From what I see, they did a fine job. It's right you call 'em mother and father. I'm only sorry for what might have been."

Buddy gazed down into her aged face, her eyes full of love and acceptance. Impulsively he reached out to take her in his arms. He hugged her tightly for a long moment. "It wasn't your fault either," he stated softly.

Cassie pulled away from his embrace, wiped at her eyes and nodded. "I know. It's far too late to go laying blame. I'm just glad you're here now." She smiled and turned to include Scott and Nick. "All of you. You boys are all I've got left."

"We'll always be here for you, Grandma," Scott assured her.

"And who knows," Nick speculated. "Maybe by this time next year, you'll be a great-grandma."

"Now don't you go making me old before my time, Nick Michaels," Cassie scolded. "Dear me, I've been gabbing so, I've forgotten all about your lunch." With that she hurried back to the kitchen to finish preparing their meal.

Buddy stared after her for a moment then glanced back at the picture of Jake. It was hard to envision this woman married to his grandfather.

"I thinks she's actually a lot happier since Grandpa Jake died," Nick stated. "I hope that doesn't sound too terrible."

Scott shook his head. "It doesn't. You weren't around them as much as I was. He walked all over her. This is probably the first chance she's ever had to do what she wants to do."

"I'm glad for her," Buddy spoke up. "She's a nice lady."

"Not sorry you came?" Nick asked with a smile.

Buddy shook his head. "Not a chance."

The evening was in full swing. Buddy sat at one of the long benches and watched the antics of several children, all trying to sneak tidbits from the big, brick barbecue. It was hard not to laugh each time they got caught and chased away, yet they kept coming back. He didn't blame them. The delicious aroma coming from the roasting meat was making his own mouth water.

"Mind if I sit down?"

Buddy looked up to see Rose standing there. "No, not at all." He gestured to the rows of empty benches. "There's plenty of room."

She sat down across the table from him and he noticed she had something in her hand... a book of some kind.

"I know everything's happened a little fast for you," she began. "At least we've all had the last year to get used the idea, even if we hadn't actually met you."

"It was sort of out of the blue," he admitted. "But I think I'm getting used to it myself."

"I'm glad. You know, I spent this whole time wondering about you... about what you'd look like, what you'd be like."

Buddy grinned self-consciously. "I hope I didn't disappoint you."

Rose smiled. "Not in the least." Her face grew serious. "I never knew your mother... I wish I could tell you about her. I only know that if Jake loved her even a little, she must have been a wonderful person."

Buddy nodded slowly. "I have a few recollections. She died when I was three so there's not much... just images mostly... and feelings." He glanced over at Rose and noticed she had a far away expression on her face.

"I understand that," she told him. "I was only a baby when my mother died. I always wished I could find someone who knew her... someone to tell me about her." She pulled herself back to the present and looked down at the book in her hand. "I can give you something though. I put this together while we were looking for you... in case we found you. Jake and I didn't have much time together... less than a year really, but I wrote down everything I could think of... little things he told me about his childhood. Cait helped me too. She found a bunch of old pictures in the attic and some were of Jake. Anyway, I made this scrapbook for you... so you can have some idea what your father was like." She handed the book over to him.

Buddy took it carefully and flipped through the pages. Even just a quick glance told him a lot of care had gone into this project. He looked up at Rose and was suddenly at a loss for words. "I... I don't know what to say. Thank you doesn't quite seem to cut it."

She reached out and squeezed his hand. "That's plenty. I'm just sorry you have to go home tomorrow."

"Me too. But this trip was kind of unexpected. I gotta get back to work."

"I understand. I hope you'll keep in touch with us."

"I will," Buddy promised. "You can count on that."

Rose brightened. "At least you'll be here for the picture."

"What picture?"

"The family picture. We always take one at the reunion. We usually do it the last day but since you wouldn't be here, we moved it up. The photographer's coming in the morning."

"That's great." Buddy did a quick survey of the huge crowd of people all milling around. "How do you get everybody in the shot?"

Rose laughed. "It's not easy, but somehow we manage."

"I can't wait to see this."

The cry rang out for dinner just then and Buddy and Rose got up to join the others lining up to eat. The food proved to be as good as it smelled and Buddy was soon seated next to Nick and Yvette, indulging himself in good food and company.

After what seemed like an endless supply of wonderful things to eat finally came to an end and over-stuffed people were lounging around the patio, someone started up a call for singing. After some shuffling to make sure everyone was comfortable, guitars were produced and music began to fill the air.

Sitting beside Nick and Rose, Buddy listened as different people took turns playing and singing. Sometimes the whole group would join in and sometimes just a few. At one point Scott pulled out his violin, much to the cheers of his relatives. Buddy closed his eyes, expecting to hear something soothing and classical, only to open them up again in amazement as his cousin started out with a Blue Grass tune that had everybody clapping and stomping in rhythm.

The music went on into the night and even after he'd gone to bed for the evening, Buddy could still hear it playing in his head. He knew he'd carry the memory of this evening with him forever.

Wide awake, he lay in his bunk, arms folded beneath his head. He remembered what Mike had always told them. You have to know where you came from. Your past is what makes you what you are. He knew what he was now. He knew where he'd come from. Even if he'd taken the long way around, he'd finally found his roots. He had a lot of people to thank for helping him make that discovery. There was everyone in the family who had helped in finding him. There was Lee and Amanda... for bringing him the news of what had happened in the past and for being so understanding of his fears. There was Nicky and Rose... for accepting him without question. There was Cassie... the grandmother he'd never had. And of course, there was Mike and Kitty, and Rafie and Matt and Darnell... for being his family. They had always been there and he knew they always would be. He understood now what his mother had been trying to tell him. It was all right to reach out to his new family. He wasn't betraying the people who had raised him and cared for him and loved him all his life. Nothing could ever replace them. But there was room in his heart for others.

He smiled to himself. Lee had said the reunions were annual events. Maybe next year he'd come again... and maybe he'd bring Rafie and Matt and even Darnell. He chuckled softly as he thought of his brothers here. If there was one thing the Michaels clan could use, it was a little bit of Rafie's Puerto Rican charm. He sighed contentedly and turned over, ready for sleep at last.

The moon had long set and the only trace left of the fire was the glowing embers of the last log. Murphy sat lost in thought, poking absently at the coals with a long roasting stick. It was late, he knew. Everything had been cleaned up for hours and the house had become nearly silent, but he didn't feel like going to bed just yet. Maybe it was because a case had come to a close and he always felt this way at the end of a case.

He heard the door to the kitchen bang shut and he turned to see Sherry come walking out. She didn't say anything. She knew his moods well enough to know when he felt like talking. She merely pulled up a chair and sat next to him. He put an arm around her shoulder and she leaned against him.

"Tommy in bed?" he asked after a few moments of easy silence.

"Umm-Hmmm," came Sherry's sleepy reply. "He and Peter wanted to go for a moonlight hike but Skip squashed that idea real quick."

"How'd he do that?" Murphy asked in amusement.

"Oh, he merely mentioned the fact that anyone under the age of twelve caught out of the bunkhouse tonight wouldn't get any breakfast in the morning. You know how much those two love to eat."

Murphy laughed. "That may not be enough if Petey's involved," he cautioned. "He's too much like his dad."

At the sound of footsteps, they both turned to glance toward the barn. At first Murphy was afraid the boys had gone ahead and defied the orders to stay put, but he soon saw the two figures walking their way and he relaxed. It was only Lee and Amanda strolling arm in arm towards them.

"Hey, don't you two know it's past your bedtime," Lee greeted.

"Couldn't sleep just yet," Murphy told them. He gestured to some of the empty patio furniture. "Have a seat."

Lee pulled up two of the chairs and he and Amanda both sat down.

For a while the only sound was the singing of the crickets and the muted sound of voices inside the house. Then Lee spoke up.

"So I guess Buddy goes home tomorrow. I'm glad everything turned out the way it did."

"Yeah... " Murphy paused and glanced up at Lee, suddenly aware of what was causing his present mood. "Look, Lee... I want to apologize for the way I was acting before... when we were looking for Buddy."

"Don't worry about it, Murph. It wasn't an easy shot to call."

Murphy shook his head. "It wasn't just whether I thought we were doing the right thing. I've been thinking about this for a while. I think the whole incident just brought up some unpleasant memories is all." He felt Sherry take his hand and he turned to give her a grateful smile.

"We've all gone through some bad times," Lee said quietly. "A thing like this can stir a lot of old feelings. Nobody thought you were out of line."

"Well... I know I wasn't exactly Mr. Enthusiasm at the beginning. I kept thinking about my mom. It's dumb, I know, but I kept thinking about how come she never turned up out of nowhere... how come she never left anything for me or Steven to tell us where she went. I mean, if even an S.O.B. like Jake felt guilty enough to leave a letter behind, how come my mother never did?" He chuckled self-consciously. "Pretty stupid, huh?"

"Not at all," Sherry stated emphatically. "I think it's completely understandable. Things we think we've dealt with can come back to haunt us, especially when we're under stress. Looking for Buddy just brought all that to the surface." She reached up to stroke his cheek. "I just wish you'd told me what you were feeling."

Murphy shook his head. "I didn't even know myself until a little while ago."

Lee reached over and clapped a hand to Murphy's shoulder. "You weren't alone, Cuz. It brought back a lot of stuff for me too. Made me wonder if I could've ended up like Buddy. If the Colonel hadn't come by that summer... " His voice trailed off for a moment then he brightened. "But the past is past and we can't change it. You have to go forward."

Murphy studied his cousin for a moment as he sat there holding Amanda's hand. Lee definitely had come a long way forward from when they'd first met as children. They all had. The slow creaking of the bunkhouse door caused him to glance that way. A smile played on his lips as he watched two small figures sneak out of the building and head for the barn. From the looks of things, they still had a long way to go.