THE LETTER
BY
MAURA I. KELLY
&
JILL HARGAN
(SANTA FE, SPRING 1994)

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Caitlin reached into the old trunk, anxious for what else she might find there. She was thoroughly enjoying herself. Since she and Andy had moved out to the ranch last month, she'd made it a special project to sort through all the junk in the attic... and there was plenty here to keep her occupied.

Never having known any kind of family life, she found it fascinating to learn about Andy's. Of course, he'd told her many things he remembered and his mother had filled in where his memory failed but it was in all the little things accumulated over the years, that some of the real history lay.

Already she'd come across old deeds, some diaries, ancient photographs. She'd even found old Grandma Michaels wedding dress, yellowed with age but still elegant. Cait had never met Andy's grandmother but knew how much she meant to him. The backbone of the family, Andy called her.

Many of the things she found were unidentified. She'd been sorting them into piles, meaning to ask her mother-in-law for help in placing them. She had boxes filled with pictures, people Andy didn't know. One that caught her attention particularly was a smart looking man in a Union Army general's uniform. It was too bad Jake had never taken the time to sort through anything before Grandpa Michaels had passed away. And now Jake himself was gone. Chances were, Cait would never find out about some of these things.

"It's pretty late, Hon. You coming down to bed?"

Cait turned to find Andy standing behind her. She smiled at him and nodded reluctantly.

"I guess I should. I'm just afraid that after the baby comes, I'll never get up here."

He came over and knelt down beside her. She watched his face as he looked over her different piles. She knew he didn't exactly share her obsession with this task. He could never understand how it felt to be without family your whole life. But he was patient with her and she was grateful for that.

"I don't think I ever came up here till I married you," Andy told her with a chuckle. "Now, it seems I'm up here every day." He gave her a warm smile and reached out to brush some of the dust off her cheeks.

"I'm almost through with this one," Cait told him. "Help me with it and we can go down that much sooner."

Andy sighed goodnaturedly. "Okay... but you can't come to bed all dirty like that. You'll have to take a shower." His hazel eyes twinkled at her suggestively.

"I'm sure I will," Cait laughed and poked him playfully in the ribs.

They started sorting through papers and pictures, the trap door to the attic left open so they could listen for the children. They hadn't been at it long before Andy stopped and gave the trunk a hard look.

"What's wrong?" Cait asked.

"This is Uncle Jake's stuff," he told her, his voice uncertain.

"Oh," Cait replied in surprise. "It was up here with all the others. I thought Cassie took all his things."

Andy shook his head. "She must have missed this one." He peered into the trunk. "Old Jake never seemed the pack rat type to me," he commented. "I feel kinda strange going through his junk."

Cait didn't really see anything wrong with what they were doing. They were actually saving Cassie the hassle of sorting through it all. But she also knew Andy's opinion of his dead uncle. She knew they'd never gotten along very well... actually there were very few people who'd gotten along with Jake. It'd taken a lot of soul searching on Andy's part to even come here to the ranch after his uncle's death.

"We can put it all back," she told him and began to return things to the old steamer.

Andy started to do the same and it was soon full again. He started to close the lid when Cait noticed an envelope off to the side.

"Oh, wait. We missed this one." She picked it up and read the front. Scrawled in Jake's hand was the name of his estranged first grandson, Nicholas Jacob Michaels. Cait stared at it for a moment then showed it to Andy. "It's for Nicky," she said in disbelief.

Andy took it from her and held it gingerly. "Now what crummy thing could he possibly have to say to Nicky here that he couldn't tell him before?"

"Andy," Cait admonished. "He did leave the place to both of them. If he wanted to be hateful he could have just willed it to Scott."

Andy considered for a time, then nodded thoughtfully. "Well, it's good timing anyway. They're all coming out next week to take care of all the legal mumbo jumbo for the ranch. We can give it to him then."

* * *

Nick sat uneasily in the big, overstuffed chair. He'd only been to the ranch a few times, even though he'd heard about it all his life. He knew well enough of the bad feelings between his mother and his paternal grandfather though he'd never understood why. It seemed to him, that having lost his only son, Grandpa Jake would have needed them, reached out to his son's widow and child. But that hadn't happened. Instead, Jake had pushed Rose away, been insulting and rude. He'd never welcomed either of them to any of the family functions.

As a child, Nick hadn't felt left out of anything. He had plenty of family on his mother's side. He couldn't have asked for a better father than Grandpa Nick had been to him. Besides all his aunts, he also had some of his father's cousins to play with. Jeffers and Allie Carmichael, along with his own first cousin, Scott McCall were still his best friends.

It had only been in the last few years that Nick had started attending the annual family reunions. He and his mother had been invited to Murphy's wedding and after that, it seemed some unspoken consent had been given for Nick to return each year. He'd enjoyed getting to know the rest of his relatives, though he always gave his grandfather a wide berth. He figured that was okay since everybody else seemed to as well. In fact the only person he knew who had ever stood up to Jake face to face was his Grandpa Nick. Nick wished he could have been around for that meeting but he had to be content with the stories he was told.

And now he sat here, this unopened letter in his hand. He was aware the others were watching him, wondering what he was going to do with it. There was his mother, love and concern for him plainly visible on her face... and Uncle Robert McCall, his expression calmly neutral as usual. Andy stood beside him, his face curious. Nick almost laughed. They weren't exactly the Jake Michaels Fan Club. But there was also Scott, who waited with eager anticipation. Scott had never held quite the same opinion of their grandfather. But then, Jake had never held Kay's marriage to Robert against their son.

Cait stood quietly beside Andy. There again was someone who didn't hate Grandpa Jake. Caitlin was one of the fortunate few Jake had taken a liking too. So, Nick supposed, they were pretty evenly divided.

"Well... I guess I should open it, huh?"

"Do you want us to leave you alone, Honey?" his mother asked.

Nick shook his head. "No, Mom. Actually it'll probably be easier to read with all of you here. Knowing Grandpa Jake, I doubt it's good news." He glanced around the room. "If you all don't mind, I'll read it out loud."

Everyone nodded. Nick slowly opened the envelope and pulled out the letter. He recognized his Grandfather's writing, though he must have written it shortly before he died, judging from how weak it looked. He started reading.

Dear Nicholas Jacob,
I'm not sure I should be writing this. What I have to tell you only one other person knows and she's probably dead now. I thought long and hard before I decided to put these things down on paper. This should have gone to your father since it really concerns him, but since he's gone and you are his son, I felt you should know all the facts. I plan to leave this letter in the attic with some of my other things. If somebody finds it, fine. If not, then so be it. It doesn't really make any difference now. In fact, I'm not even sure I want this unpleasant history brought to light. But so may years have passed and your father, my son, Jake has been dead a long time. I'll just come right out and say it. You have a brother or sister. Well, half-brother or sister is more like it.

Nick's voice stuttered to a halt as he looked up to see the stunned faces around him.

"A brother or sister?" Scott repeated incredulously. "How can that be?"

"Typical of Jake to keep this to himself all these years," McCall remarked.

"Trust Uncle Jake to hide anything that smacks of impropriety," Andy added sarcastically.

"Nicky, why don't you finish the letter first," Rose advised him. "Before we all try and figure out why he kept this from everyone."

"Okay, Mom," Nick agreed. He continued reading.

Right before your father graduated from high school, he dated a local girl I didn't like very much.

"So what else is new," Andy piped in.

"Andy." Cait nudged him to be quiet.

"Sorry, Nicky," he apologized. "Go ahead."

I don't think Jake really loved the girl but he was very fond of her. Her name was Maria Torres, a Mexican girl who lived on a small farm not far from ours.

Jake knew I always planned on him going to college. Of course, he picked the one place I didn't approve of, West Point. But then he always went against my wishes. I'll never understand why he chose the military over all those big Ivy League schools. I always felt in my heart McCall had a lot to do with it. I know Jake looked up to him, although I never knew why. I'm sure he convinced Jake to get involved in Intelligence. I'm also sure that's why my son died.

Nick stopped reading to look over at his uncle and noticed his stricken expression. "We know that's not true, Uncle Robert."

"Nicky's right, Robert," Rose concurred. She rested her hand on McCall's arm in a comforting gesture. She nodded at Nick to continue.

After your father left for college, Maria came by the ranch and asked for his address. I could tell she was troubled. It didn't take much to get her to confide in me. She told me she was pregnant. I was outraged. I knew if Jake found out he'd quit school and do what he thought was the right thing. He would've married her and ruined his life forever. I had other plans for him and they didn't include marrying somebody totally unsuitable. Not that it did me any good since he later broke his engagement to the girl I wanted him to marry so he could run off with somebody even worse.

"Why..."

"That..."

"Son of a..."

"Boys, let's not insult Grandma Michaels just because her son was a..."

"An ass?" McCall finished for Rose.

Cait giggled at Rose's expression of chagrin. "Come on, Nicky. Let's finish your letter fast or we'll never find out about your new brother or sister. We'll end up with a riot instead."

Nick returned to the letter.

I gave the girl some options. She really had no choice in the matter because she couldn't count on any support from her family. Being Catholic, she didn't appreciate the first suggestion I made. I promised her all the money she would need if she never told Jake about the baby. She agreed and decided her best choice would be to put the child up for adoption.

I arranged a place out of state for her to stay and have her baby. She left town the next week and went to Ohio. I never heard from her again. I don't know what happened to her or the child or whether it was a boy or a girl. I don't even know if it lived or died. I didn't care at the time. I just wanted to make sure no one ever found out, especially Jake.

Well, I guess I did a good job. Nobody ever knew, not even Cassie. But now you know the whole story. I don't really care if you follow up on this or not. Since you're reading this, it means I'm dead and can't be affected by anything you do. I'm not making excuses for any of my actions. I did what I thought was best and what I knew was right.

Your Grandfather,
Jacob Michaels

No one spoke as Nick finished reading. The reactions around him were varied. His mother, he noticed, was looking thoughtful. He didn't even need to look at Andy to know fury would be etched on his face. Uncle Robert had retreated behind his usual stoic mask but Nick could see the workings of his jaw and the glint of anger in his eye. Caitlin was merely watching the others, while Scott was full of excitement. Nick himself was numb. The information he'd just received was cause for both sadness and celebration. Sadness because this child had been denied its heritage and celebration because he had just acquired a sibling. He still couldn't believe it.

He turned to his mother and, as if reading his thoughts, Rose smiled at him.

"I'm glad for you, Nicky."

"But, Mom..."

"Honey, your father and I loved each other. This took place long before I met him."

"So you're not upset about it?"

"I'm happy to think there's another child of your father's out there somewhere."

"Yeah, and there's our problem," Andy commented. "Where do we find this person?"

"You haven't said much, Robert," Rose observed.

"I was just thinking about what we've heard. Jake's last bit of duplicity."

"He did the right thing in the end, though," she replied. "He told Nicky."

McCall smiled, the first one Nick had seen on him all day. "You know, Rose. No matter how he treated you, you always gave him more than he deserved."

"He was my husband's father. I always believed there was some good in him." Rose laughed. "Besides, if he got too nasty, I always had my dad and you to look out for me." She gave him a knowing look. "I also knew it was you, my Jake took his cue from. He always trusted you, Robert. He chose his profession because he wanted to serve his country. You advised him the best way you knew, but you were never responsible for his death."

"Mom's right, Uncle Robert," Nick added.

"Yeah, Dad," Scott agreed. "Grandpa Jake's just getting in his last licks while he can."

"You never listened to him before, McCall." Andy commented. "Why start now?"

"You're all right, of course. The letter just brought back those old animosities. They should be laid to rest along with Jacob Michaels." McCall looked around at the anxious faces watching him. "So are we going to find this missing Michaels?"

Nick laughed with relief. He was glad Uncle Robert wasn't going to let this upset him. "Finding him will be quite a job."

"Oh, I don't know, Nicky," Scott said with a smile. "We have plenty of government types in the family to ferret out information. Right, Dad?"

McCall nodded knowingly. "I'm not such an old man yet that I can't help with this sort of thing and I'm sure Lee and Amanda will lend a hand."

"And with Murphy and my brother, Remington and his wife Laura, we certainly have enough private detectives to help too," Cait put in.

"Okay, let's do it!" Scott cheered enthusiastically. "We have a new cousin to locate."

"And Nicky has a brother or sister to find," Rose added.

Cait came over and gave Nick a big hug. "I promise you, Nicky. When you find him or her it will be the greatest feeling in the world. I know."

Nick felt overwhelmed. "Thanks, everyone, for being here to help with the letter." He carefully folded it up and put it in his pocket.

"Any time, Cousin," Andy told him fondly and ruffled his hair.

Nick put up with the gesture good-naturedly. He knew no matter how old he or Scott were, they would always be little boys to his older cousins.

"Mommy, can we come in yet?"

All heads turned to the door to the family room. All four Travis children stood there with their heads in the doorway, anxiously awaiting permission to rejoin the group. Cait laughed and went over to her brood.

"Isn't is time to eat," little Shawna asked pensively.

"It sure is, Sweetheart." Cait turned to the group of adults. "Is anybody hungry?"

At Cait's question, everyone eagerly got up and headed for the dining room and a companionable family dinner.