THERE AND BACK AGAIN
BY
JILL HARGAN
(GLORIETA, JULY 1962)

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The wires sparked and crackled as he touched them together. Maybe he was finally on the right track. Maybe this time the system would work. If he could only get these two circuits to connect.

"Andee-ee!"

The wires slipped past each other and out of his hands.

"Gosh Dog-it!" he muttered. His eyes stung with the acrid smoke as his week's work fizzled and sputtered uselessly.

"Andy!"

Skip's voice sounded closer now as he approached the cave where Andy was working.

"In here!" Andy called out to his cousin.

"Whatcha doing?" Skip asked as he burst into their secret hideout.

"Nothin' now," Andy grumbled. "I almost had it this time too."

"Aw, that ol' thing." Skip waved his hands at the smoke. "Is that what's stinkin' up the place?"

"It doesn't stink," Andy protested. He coughed at the odor. "That's the smell of radio."

"Only the smell of a broken radio," Skip laughed. He grew serious again. "What're you doing out here anyway? Your mom's gonna skin us if we're not there when he shows up."

"Okay, okay, I'm coming. Didn't see no sense sittin' around the house doin' nothin', like Murphy."

"Let's go," Skip prodded. He pulled Andy up from the table of old radio equipment. "I don't like gettin' in trouble. You act like you don't wanna see him."

"I do," Andy retorted hotly. "I just . . ."

"Just what?"

Andy shrugged uncomfortably. "I don't know. It's been a whole year, Skip. What...what if he's different?"

Skip laughed. "Hey goofy, you don't see me sometimes for a whole year. Do I change?"

"You'll never change," Andy informed him with a grin. "I know it's dumb."

"You're right, it is dumb. Now let's go before our moms send out a posse."

"Aye, Skipper," Andy sighed resignedly. He reached over and turned off the old set. It was then he finally noticed the large stuffed animal Skip carried. "What're you doing with Lee's bear?"

Skip glanced down at the toy sheepishly. "I gotta put it back so he can find it right where he left it."

He set Paddington down on the table amidst the stray tubes and wires. Together they trotted out of the cave, carefully avoiding the sealed off tunnel that branched out from their hideout. They weren't even supposed to be playing in the mine at all but only the old shaft had given way last summer. Their hideout was a natural cave, not a tunneled out mine. They didn't see any danger in it. It had never even crumbled. Of course, they didn't bother to explain to the adults. They just let it be their secret.

Once outside the mine, they mounted their horses and started back down the mountain towards the ranch.

"Hey," Skip burst out. "Maybe Lee can convince Murph to come back to the hideout."

"I don't know," Andy replied doubtfully. "They were both pretty scared. Maybe neither one of them will come back."

They cleared the trees and reached the start of the meadow.

"Last one home's a rotten egg!" Skip challenged and kicked his horse abruptly. The animal bolted off down the path.

"No fair!" Andy called as he too urged his horse toward home.

They reached the stable at the same time, unsaddled the horses and walked them out to the paddock to cool them off. They were in a hurry but knew better than to neglect the animals. Uncle Jake had no patience for a poor job. Besides, they both knew it was cruel to the horses they loved not to take proper care of them.

They were just about done when the kitchen door banged shut and they heard Murphy racing towards them from the house.

"Lee's coming!" he shouted as he ran. "The truck just turned down the road. I saw it from upstairs. They're here," the boy finished breathlessly as he reached the fence. "Lee's here."

"Relax, Murph," Andy chuckled. "You'd think it was Christmas or something."

The grin never faded from Murphy's face.

"Better'n Christmas. Least at my house anyway."

"Not mine," Andy argued good-naturedly.

The kitchen door opened again and Andy's mother stood there beckoning them.

"Boys, come on. You want Lee to think you're not happy to see him?"

All three boys trotted the rest of the way to the house. Andy brought up the rear, still reluctant to see what the last year had done to their long-lost cousin.

* * *

The old pickup stopped in front of the ranch and Grandpa Michaels shut off the engine. Lee sat between his grandparents and waited while they got out. It seemed to take forever for them to climb down out of the cab. Yet even after they were, Lee still sat there and stared at the house. For some reason he was reluctant to move.

"Come on, son," Grandpa Michaels prodded. "The boys will be waiting for you."

Lee gathered himself together and slid slowly across the seat and out the passenger side of the truck. He stood next to his grandmother and she put a comforting arm around his shoulders.

"It'll be okay, Lee. Nothing's changed."

Lee looked up at her. She seemed to have read his innermost thoughts. He didn't know how but she always knew what he was thinking.

"It's been a long time, Grandma," Lee whispered. "Will they still like me?"

"It's only been a year, boy." She laughed kindly to chase away his fears. "And they've done nothing but talk about you since they got here."

"Really?"

"Really," she assured him with a smile.

"What are you two standing around jabbering for?" Grandpa Michaels fetched Lee's bag out of the back of the truck and came up beside them. "Waitin' for the red carpet or something?" He started ahead of them down the walk to the house.

Lee and Grandma Michaels laughed and followed after him. The front door burst open and Lee saw Aunt Katie only moments before she swept him up in an enthusiastic hug.

"It's so good to see you, Lee," she told him warmly. She stood back and held him at arms length. "My word, you must have grown a foot. What does the colonel feed you?"

Lee grinned self-consciously. "Just food," he replied, then added. "But lots of it."

"Well, there's lots of lunch just about ready. Come on in."

She led the way toward the door but noticed the three boys hovering there. She motioned her parents to come with her and they went ahead, leaving Lee to get reacquainted with his cousins.

Lee hesitated, suddenly shy. The other boys were quiet too, as if they didn't know what to say. Abruptly, Skip broke the ice.

"Hey, looks like Mr. Colonel Sir scalped you again."

Lee's face flushed red and his hand went to his crew cut in embarrassment.

"Way to go, Skipper!" Murphy berated. "Now you've made him feel bad." He stepped up next to Lee and took his arm. "Never mind. It'll grow back."

"Just like last time," Skip offered, trying to make amends for his goof.

"Yeah," Lee muttered. "Just like last time." He had a sudden vision of the end of the summer and having to leave again and he wondered for a moment if he should have come back.

The mood was suddenly heavy. Murphy and Skip exchanged helpless looks then glanced at Andy for any suggestions. He merely shrugged.

"Come on," Murphy said abruptly to break the tension. "Let's go to the barn."

"Yeah, let's go," Skip concurred.

Lee sighed to shake off his concern then agreed with a smile. "Okay. Let's go."

They started off at a run around the house, with Andy trotting behind them. He still hadn't decided if things were going to be normal.

* * *

"I say we go up to the hideout." Andy stood in the hayloft facing his cousins with determination. Lunch was over and they had regrouped in the barn. "We have to. It's the only way to start this summer."

Lee was quiet as he debated what to say. He wasn't really afraid to go back to the cave. Since he'd so recently gotten here, he didn't feel it was his place to step in and start making decisions.

Murphy on the other hand was adamant in his position.

"No way, Andy. You know we're not supposed to go up there."

"We were never supposed to go up there," Andy countered. "When did that ever stop us?" He regarded Murphy critically. "You're just a big scaredy cat."

Murphy's eye's flashed in anger. "I am not!" he denied. "I just don't want to go. Besides, it's a dumb place anyway."

"It's not either dumb, just..."

"Wait a minute, guys," Skip interrupted before Andy's temper made him say something he might regret. "We don't have to go up there right away, Andy," he reasoned calmly. "We can give everybody some time to think it over. Why does it have to be today?"

"Because..." Andy paused, at a loss to explain his own feelings. "Just because. We have to start over like we were before."

"I'll go," Lee offered quietly. He hated seeing this bickering and felt it was all because he had come back. If going up to the cave would reassure Andy nothing had changed he was willing to make the trip.

Murphy looked up at Lee. "You're gonna go?" he asked in disbelief.

Lee nodded his head. "Why not?"

Andy smiled then looked over at Skip. "What about you?"

"I'll go," Skip agreed. "I never said I wouldn't"

It was all up to Murphy. He sat on the hay bale for a long, thoughtful minute. He finally looked up to his cousins.

"I'll go as far as the entrance," he conceded.

Andy shook his head. "You gotta come all the way inside."

"Let's just get up there," Lee suggested. "Then let Murphy decide."

"Sounds like a good idea," Skip agreed. "What do you say, Andy?"

"Well...Okay." He looked over to Lee. "Do you remember how to ride?" he asked.

Lee was indignant. "Of course I do."

"Okay, okay." Andy laughed. "I was just asking."

Lee smiled too. "Besides, after last summer the Colonel bought me a pony."

"You're kidding," all three boys voiced in unison.

"No, I'm not. Of course, he wasn't as nice as the ones here, but...he was a good little horse."

"Who's taking care of him while you're here?" Andy asked.

Lee's smile faded a bit. "We got transferred a few months ago so we had to sell him."

There was a brief moment of awkward silence. Murphy got up and took Lee's arm.

"If we're gonna go we better get a move on."

The moment passed as they went about the noisy business of saddling their mounts for the trip up the mountain.

* * *

The secret hideout was just as Lee remembered it. He walked inside following Skip and Andy. Murphy stayed outside at the entrance. Lee didn't really blame him. His cousin had been really scared the last time they were here...scared and hurt. Lee had been too but Murphy was younger. It must have affected him more.

As Lee entered the cave his eyes took in the sight with joyful remembrance. There were too many good memories here for Lee to let the one bad one haunt him. And there on Andy's radio table he found his last memory of this place. There was Paddington Bear; still sitting where he left it when he and McCall had left here that last time. Lee smiled as he walked over to lovingly pick it up. It didn't matter he was nearly twelve years old. He would always treasure this stuffed toy. It was a link to his past and to a dear friend as well. He hugged it to his chest for a moment then turned to his cousins.

"Is McCall going to be here?"

Skip shook his head. "I don't think so. Kay's here already. I heard her talking to Aunt Cassie about him being in a weird place."

"Southeast Asia," Andy filled in.

"Where ever that is."

Lee was disappointed. He'd been counting on seeing McCall as well as everyone else. He sighed heavily and moved over to settle down on some old blankets, using the bear to pillow his head. Perhaps next time, he told himself.

Skip picked up a handful of stray darts and started a game against the far wall. The target was old with big chunks of cork missing. "Anybody wanna play?"

"Not me," Andy said as he returned to his radio. "I still got a lot of work on this thing."

"Aw, that thing will never work," Skip jibed good-naturedly. "Lee?"

Lee shook his head. "Not right now. I just wanna sit here for a while."

"Doesn't anybody wanna play?" Skip pleaded.

"How 'bout me?" came Murphy's small voice.

All three boys looked up, startled. Murphy stood in the entryway, waiting to be welcomed back into their good graces. Lee smiled. It must have taken a lot of courage for their youngest member to make his way here alone and in the dark.

"Come on then," Skip invited with a grin.

Murphy came all the way in and took the darts Skip handed him. Lee got up and put a friendly hand on Murphy's shoulder.

"I guess I'll play too," he decided.

Andy scooted back his chair and got up from the table. There was a broad grin on his face. Things were going to be okay. Nothing had changed so much they couldn't be the way they had been. He walked over to the game.

"Count me in too."